Tribe Of Morris

Learning to Rest

2011-03-10T20:00:00.000-10:00

Learning

to Rest

I remember the day, a few years ago, I sat on my friends couch. Graeme and I were waiting, praying and hoping for our missions trip money to come through. It was a step of faith to apply for the trip because it was expensive, but we felt God leading us that way and were taking a risk. The friend was an awesome person, but we were constantly confronted with their concerns about finances. The concerns seemed so irrational. They had a massive house with a pool, several cars and lots of nice stuff. I admit I was constantly looking at their financial concerns from a seat of judgement, “if you would just sell one of your cars...” or “if you hadn’t invested in such an elaborate house.”

This day, the wife was ecstatic because a family friend found out that they were still waiting for the money to pay for her missions trip to Israel which was more expensive than our trip, btw. They had decided that they felt the Lord leading them to pay the whole shot! They were going to pay for her trip completely. I sat in my seat of judgement completely stunned. “How could God provide for her trip like this when we still had so much owing on ours.” “We have given up so much to be here and they seem to be giving up nothing.” She was so excited and I sat there doing everything I could to not gush with tears of resentment and jealousy.

(Sorry friend, if you know who you are) I hadn’t learned yet about the faithfulness of God. I’d heard of it, but I hadn’t learned to count on it, trust it, expect it. I couldn’t see beyond my own need to love God for blessing her. Over the coming months I heard Bill Johnson’s messages on thankfulness, stewarding what you have been given and positioning yourself for increase by rejoicing with those who are blessed abundantly and beyond you. When we celebrate other’s victories we pull the testimony into our own life, calling out for all of heaven to hear “Do it again, Lord!” I learned that her blessing doesn’t mean that there is any less to go around to provide for me. Everything that God has in store for us is afforded according to His riches in glory! It’s like the sky is the limit! haha. How much more gloriously are the lilies of the valley clothed than Solomon arrayed in all his splendour? God was faithful to provide for our missions trip too in the end. In fact, we had to leave on our trip before it was paid for and while we were gone, an acquaintance felt God tell him to give a big chunk of money that he just inherited to pay off the rest of our trips. It was nearly a thousand dollars! I had never even met the guy. He just knew God wanted him to do it, so he did.

Over time, I came to find it easy to rejoice with those who celebrated. I almost proudly wore the badge of celebrating others fortune no matter where we were at because day after day I was seeing the provision and redemption of the Lord in my life. I knew that what God was doing for others was testimony of what He could do for me. I was coming to know the truth of the fact that there is always enough. And to celebrate another’s riches when I have lack is to set myself up for increase. I am learning to humbly celebrate my own abundance and my lack in anticipation of His provision.

I found myself tempted to go back to that seat of judgement and jealousy again today. I have been so tired and so busy, longing for down time and quality time with my family. I find myself dreaming of holidays with the kids and with Graeme. Several friends around me have been blessed recently with the opportunity to go on holidays. The first couple times that people shared their good news I was genuinely happy for them and able to rejoice, but there was a hint of envy while I longed for the same opportunities. Then another friend came today to share her excitement. They found an amazing deal online and just booked a holiday for their whole family. I was suddenly back in that place. “What about me, God?”

I was just realizing something about myself yesterday. I was thinking about my longing for a family vacation and asking myself what it is exactly that I am missing that leaves me so longing. I realized that I am missing fun, I am missing rest and I am missing connection. Part of me was believing that I am just so overworked that I am needing a holiday. There may be an element of truth to that, but my solutions aren’t as much answers as escapes. I’m realizing that I can’t run away every time stuff gets hard. This is life and it doesn’t stop and there is not going to come a day when all the struggle is over and life is like a Caribbean Holiday. I know that I need to learn to rest, to joy and to connect in the every days.

I found a journal entry from a very difficult season in my life, when my kids were small and I had extra kids living with me. I was noticing how everyday I was trying to plan my life around a time when things would get easier and every moment that I waited for the next season, I felt like I was losing time, losing life.

Today I find myself longing for a time when things will slow down, longing for a holiday, for spring break, longing for the end of this homeschooling season, or the end of the ministry school program, longing for the summer. But the further I look down the road, the more realistically I see that one season leads into another and you never really see anything finish, seasons just change and the demands and expectations change. I’m realizing that I can’t wait anymore. I can’t search for the quick fix, the magic pill. I’ve heard time and again to learn to love the process. I’m not quite there today, more just accepting that life is process and you can’t change it.

But …. but there are things you can change. I can change my today. I can’t go to the Caribbean, but I can take my son for a walk. I can choose not to think about what I have to do while I sit in the hot tub with Bailey. I can even go to the tanning salon and catch a few rays and some Vitamin D for a pick me up. I need to fight for a nap! When I’m tired and fighting to get everything done, I need to realize that I’m better when I’m rested, put on some soft worship music, try my best to shut off my brain and sleep. Hebrews 4:11 says that we are to strive to enter his rest. In fact, it is the only thing we are to strive for. So, if I’m stressed out and overtired I am being disobedient! Now that’s a crazy idea. Bill Johnson was sharing about the value of the night season, fixing your affections on the father before you sleep to let him minister to you in your rest. He quoted Psalm 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep... Everything I need he can give me while I rest.

So I guess this blog is all about learning to rest. I’m learning that I don’t necessarily need a holiday, I need a lifestyle of rest. I need to redirect my focus to the point that my only striving is to enter His rest. I need to let Him be what I need to get everything done in the day while letting me be the human being that I am who needs sleep, fun and connection. I’m praying now that God will help me discipline myself for rest and muster up the focus for fun.

And now, I’m rejoicing in my friend’s holidays (all of them, today and a few years ago) and praying blessing and increase on them. I do it partly because I want to pull the testimony into my own life, but also because I am learning to see beyond my own need to be genuinely happy for them and their blessings. Because they are some pretty awesome people and really do deserve the blessing. And I’m rejoicing in God’s faithful and miraculous provision for Bailey and her missions trip to Mexico in a couple of weeks. But, that one was the easiest to celebrate. Thankyou, Jesus.

I guess you could call me a Student Teacher ...

2011-03-09T21:17:00.002-10:00

I guess you could call me a Student Teacher ....

Here I am again, having left the blog for too long and feeling the need to put some of my life on paper. It's going to be a tough one cuz I am just not feeling a stream of thought flowing like I want before I plan to write, but it's time and I'm here, so here it goes.

I find myself in an incredibly educational season. That's a funny statement. I'm asking, did I lose myself? Or have I really even found myself? Everyday I am learning more about who I am and who He is. I learn about how much I lack and how faithful He is to fill me up. Not only is His strength made perfect in my weakness, but He turns everything around and makes me look good too. It's ironic that I am learning these things now. These are the very things that make up the bulk of what we want to teach our students this year, a sense of identity, knowing who we are and here I am still learning. Maybe being a professional learner will make me a better teacher, here's hoping.

It is an overwhelming time in my life. I realized recently that this is the first time I have worked outside of the home since I was pregnant with Ben. Yep, it's been nearly 12 years! I am suddenly overcome with gratitude to God for the grace that was on our family for the past 12 years. To have been able to stay home with my kids over the years has been a treasured position that I don't take for granted. I have loved being undivided (for the most part) in my love of staying home and being with my kids. God was blessing me day by day with opportunity to pour my life into my kids, my family and friends through relationship. I didn't love it everyday, but I learned to love it and walking into a new season has been a tough transition. I still have the same love and value for staying home and being there for my kids, but I have found a new joy in teaching and directing this school of ministry. I am only working at the school part time, but also feeling more pull from church and ministries that our students are involved in. For years, while my kids were small, I cried at the expectation of going back to work. I was devastated by the idea that I would have to leave my kids. Part of that struggle is still in me, but my heart cries out for a new grace. My prayers are to God to cover my kids, teach me to guard our relationship, while making a way for me to be at the school more. We are still homeschooling Ben and Caleb, while Bailey is attending a local Christian school. We'd started to consider the kids schooling as the older two were getting in the higher grades, but I didn't think I would ever want to work outside the home. I'm surprising myself. I honestly feel like I was born for what I am doing now!

My heart is pulled in so many directions today. Each time Graeme and I have a meeting or commitment outside the home I hear the disappointment in the kids voices. "Where do you have to go this time?" or "I thought you were staying home today." The kids have felt the strain of transition as much as I have. They want to have their mommy home 24/7 like I used to be. I'm learning to be available when I'm home, invested in what I'm doing when I'm not home and always engaging the kids at every turn to demonstrate to them that they still have my heart without having all the attention. It's such a stretch! Internally processing is quickly becoming a luxury as they long to relate with me/exchange whenever we are together.

I'm starting to understand the role of Elasta-girl from the Incredibles. Realizing what I am capable of and what I just have to be, like it or not. My role at school has demanded a lot of me and more importantly a lot of Christ in me. I am constantly coming to the end of myself and calling out, "Jesus, I need you." I think it is a healthy place but it is not a comfortable place. I find myself constantly confronted with the fact that I am not enough and almost afraid that the people who are trusting me will figure that out. I keep having dreams about being caught naked or exposed in public places. I never realized how vulnerable of a place it is to be entrusted with such great responsibility. It's this daily walk of reminding myself who I am in Christ and that I only have to be who God made me and then He picks up the slack. He makes it all work out for me, because of me and in spite of me.

I'm reminding myself moment by moment that I am here because of His love. I am here to obey what he's called me to do. I am here because He loves me and I serve because I love Him and the rest of the world needs to know what I know. I know that I am not doing it alone and that His grace is on me and the situation so I strive to rest. I strive to remain in peace and give him the wheel. Captain my captain, lead me and keep me, hold me steadfast on the path. I have to be so aware of where my hope levels are and stewarding them.

... I'm finding it hard to write at the moment .... I am so caught between process and understanding .... Where I am going and where I want to be, what I know and what I'm learning. The more I figure that I understand, the more I'm caught in a place of knowing that I have so much to learn. This isn't sounding like a very victorious blog at the moment, but I really am seeing the fruit and the victory in what we are doing here. I am tired, but I'm figuring out what rest looks like in the midst of running. So I will leave you with the words of this song because they are close to my heart today and an encouragement to me. I hope they encourage you today too.

It's called Love Came Down by Brian Johson

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice

I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see

If the storms of live they come and the road ahead gets steep

I will lift these hands in faith I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done

And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me

Love came down and set me free

I am Yours I am forever Yours

Mountain high or valley low

I sing out remind my soul

I am Yours I am forever Yours

When my heart is filled with hope and every promise comes my way

When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me

Staying desperate for You God, Staying humbled at Your feet

I will lift these hands and praise I will believe

After all, it is all about Him, isn't it?

Love you,

Chris

It's official! EWSSM Starts Jan. 4th.

2010-12-28T12:01:00.001-10:00

The past couple months have been a roller coaster ride of excitement, fear, hope and tension. We have been considering an opportunity to be part of a Supernatural School of Ministry in Kelowna, BC. The invitation came in November while Graeme and I were still in Irricana, AB with his family. The word of the Lord at the moment was to "Wait". This was a difficult position to be in, especially due to the fact that there were many people waiting on our decision. Graeme was gung ho and excited to move forward, but we couldn't deny God's direction to wait or to be still. So the tension was great between us as Graeme sought permission to move forward and I sought the peace and confidence that this was what the Lord wanted. Much of the need to move forward by several parties involved put pressure on us to search our hearts and press into the Lord like we haven't before. We needed to know what we wanted and where we felt the Lord was leading. We needed vision.

Through much prayer and even confrontation (baring our heart and concerns), we felt like we got the confidence we needed to move forward. We gave our "yes" to Wesley and Stacy Campbell on December 10th. Our yes came in obedience to what we felt God calling us to and the confidence grew in the conversations that followed. A family from KCC heard of our need for a place to land. They were going to be gone for at least a month over Christmas, so they generously offered us their home. On December 20th, we left Irricana to settle in a beautiful home in Kelowna. It is a blessing to have a space of our own for a season. Shortly after arriving in Kelowna, we met with the Campbells and Donna Petch from New Life Church to discuss our roles. Graeme and I have been named Directors of the school and Wesley and Stacy Campbell are the overseers. We are excited about this role and opportunity.

The school is called "Eyes and Wings School of Supernatural Ministry". So far, it looks as if we will have 13 or 14 students. We are thankful for the small class as we have a lot of ground to cover in a short space of time. We are hoping to work our way through 80 Bethel DVD sessions, 4 books and 2 training manuals. In addition we will do some ministry training classes, guest speakers, outreaches, worship, small groups and a missions trip. A good friend gave us a word yesterday that we are going to be squeezed like we've never been squeezed before and it's going to cause us to grow. We can see this coming to pass and the very words confirm a dream I had six months ago. I love that God has been giving me many dreams again that encourage and inspire me as we enter into this new season of running.

The schedule is going to be an adjustment for our family. I am going to be at school everyday from mid morning to 2ish and then Graeme and I will switch places and he will be at school until 5:30pm. Graeme and I will take turns helping the kids with homeschooling and taking them to activities depending on time of day and schedule. We only have one vehicle so this will mean sometimes having the kids at the school with us and we are looking at the possibility of taking turns on the bus. When we are done our stay at this home in Kelowna mid to late January, we have been graciously offered a home in Glenrosa. It will also be a house sitting situation. It is a sure thing for a month and there have been other options in the works to follow. God has been so good to us, providing us with housing and the grace to be here while we wait for school finances to be sorted out. This whole thing has been a leap of faith for everyone involved, from New Life staff and the Campbells to the students and us.

Thanks for all your love, prayers and encouragement. It has been a wonderful Christmas with time to connect with Kelowna friends and family. We have enjoyed the visits, food, presents and Christmas greetings from all over. Graeme is eager to get into school mode and I am getting into that mode slowly but surely. We have started planning the weekly schedule and figuring out homework, ordering books and DVDs, small groups, outreaches. We have been interviewing students over the phone and emailing back and forth. It is exciting and overwhelming. We are confident in this, that this is a season of coming to the end of ourselves and seeing God show up. We are utterly dependent on His faithfulness to come when we call. We'll be calling on Him a lot :) But that's the everyday supernatural life, right? Please continue to hold us up in prayers as our family adjusts to a new lifestyle and new responsibilities.

Many Blessings and Happy New Year.

Our Christmas letter 2010

2010-12-16T08:27:00.014-10:00

Merry Christmas 2010

5th times a charm? Lets see if I can get through this letter on my 5th attempt. Once again, not surprisingly, my heart is cluttered and full of things to say, but getting an organized stream of info on the screen has been difficult this year. It has been a crazy year. We started out in Nicaragua, spent a short time in California, returned to Kelowna, moved on to Whitehorse, stopping in Alberta for a while on the way, only to return to Alberta and find ourselves sitting and waiting for the next “assignment”. It has been a season of running, walking, waiting. You name it, we have been there this year.

Our time in Nicaragua was nothing less than miraculous! It was a divine appointment that manifested God’s grace to us in awe striking and tangible ways day by day. It was a season of running, especially for Graeme. In the first couple weeks we were there, God arranged dozens of kingdom connections and the remaining 3 months were spent preaching, teaching and praying in many churches. We were amazed by the healings that happened when we prayed and taught others to pray. There was this constant realization that we were not enough, but we were wiling and we were obedient so God chose to use us. The desperation and hunger in the people we encountered was inspiring. We left with a confidence that we were in the right place at the right time and that God’s hand was on us to make a difference in Nicaragua.

After our time in Nica, we returned to Kelowna for a short season. It was a season of recovery and relationship building. We spent only a couple of months there, but in a very short time, God was knitting us together with other like minded believers at New Life Church. We often questioned what God was doing as we saw an acceleration in connection with several elders at NLC. For the first time in our lives, we felt lead to join this church as members. It was a confident decision, but we were perplexed as to why God was doing this just before we were going on the road again.

In July, Graeme and I were heading for Whitehorse. We were excited to visit family and had already made connection with a small foursquare church there. The church had some hopes to start a school of ministry in the future and we were hoping to work with them toward this goal. It was a beautiful summer. All of my siblings and their families managed to make it to Whitehorse (or be in town for those who live there) for a 10 day family reunion. It was so fun to have all 26 of us together. We enjoyed bbqs, fishing, boating, walks and swims. A great time was had by all and many memories made. The summer was an amazing time of getting to know my nieces and nephews and keep building relationships with my family. I loved the cuddles and the coffees, the board games and the chats. It was a special summer. I hope for more just like it in the future.

Our time with the church in Whitehorse was also exciting. I was privileged to help lead worship for the summer. It was stretching for me, but I loved the extra time I was afforded to practise playing piano and just get lost in God’s presence. Graeme loved every opportunity to preach and teach. He was leading a weekly meeting meant to build up the local leaders. We were so blessed by all that God did in our family and in the church while we were with them and excited about all that God has in store as they continue to seek revival in their own hearts and in their church.

We left Whitehorse in October hoping for an opportunity to return to Kelowna. We knew that God was building something there and our hearts were drawn to be a part of it. Unfortunately, the couldn’t see the grace to be there right away. Finances and lack of opportunity kept us searching our hearts and the Lord for wisdom and direction. The word for the moment was to wait. So wait we did. We have been in Irricana, Alberta now, with Graeme’s family, for 2 months. They have been so gracious, making us feel welcomed and comfortable. We are truly thankful for the homes we have been given all over the world. This season of waiting has given us the time to get to know our nieces better and help Graeme’s sister with her new baby. It is such a joy to be part of their lives.

Our season of waiting has almost come to an end. Graeme and I have been connecting with leaders at New Life Church in Kelowna and Wesley and Stacey Campbell. We have been invited to come and help them with a school of ministry that they are building. Graeme and I have committed to help them through the spring. A generous family that we don’t know, has offered us a place to stay Dec. 20th through January and another family offered us a place for the month of February. They are both house sitting opportunities so we will be alone as a family in their houses which is a treat. We are excited about this opportunity, but a little nervous as well. We have been challenged, once again, to come to a place where we know that the commitment is beyond us and requires our dependency on God to move in power to accomplish what we hope for.

Please hold us in your prayers as we will you, praying for God’s Holy Spirit to work in you both to will and to do according to His good purposes.

*Peace*
We love you.
Blessings,
Chris, Graeme, Caleb, Bailey and Ben

Long time ... no info.

2010-10-27T10:17:00.000-10:00

Well, first things first. I guess it is time that I apologize for my lack of contact over the past few months. Can't believe it has been months since our last update, especially when so much has gone on over the summer.

The last update I posted was mid-May. Graeme and I with the kids were still in Kelowna, blessed to live with great friends for a couple months. We headed to Alberta for about a week or two to spend some time with Graeme's family in Irricana on our way to Whitehorse. It was some fun catch up time and now we are here in Irricana again. Graeme's sister, Wendy, just had their third baby a week ago. She arrived the day before we did. Her name is Ainsley and it has been such a joy to get to know her and spend some time with her big sisters, Sydney and Mackenzie, and the rest of the family.

In between these two Irricana visits Graeme and I spent a few days in Edmonton on our way to Whitehorse and again on our way back. We have another great friend there. Her name is Lana and we go way back all the way to youth group in the late 80's/early 90's. She has generously put us up a couple times now so we could spend time with her, share her church family and have some family time at West Edmonton Mall. Lana also graciously shared a mechanically inclined family friend with us a couple weeks back when our alternator went on us and we were at the mercy of high priced tow trucks, mechanics and parts. She and a friend, with his family, drove two hours north to meet us and help replace the part. They were such a blessing. Thankful once again for the kindness of friends and strangers. God's got our back.

We arrived in Whitehorse the last week of June. We were there in time for the kids to get a free ride to camp. Bailey and Ben went as campers and Caleb went as a counsellor while I spent the week in the kitchen helping with food prep. It was a fun week. The kids made new friends and had some fun times with their cousins. It was a challenging week for Caleb learning to be a big brother to a lot of unchurched and often rambunctious boys, but he went to chapel every night with the kids and one of the nights he had an awesome encounter with God and it changed his whole outlook. He was excited to go back to camp a couple weeks later as a teen camper. I also enjoyed the time. My sister, Sue, organized our being able to be part of camp and she and I worked together in the kitchen and shared a camper all week. It was fun to chat, laugh, cook and play scrabble together. It was a special time together.

After the kids and I returned from camp, I was on duty. We stayed with my brother, Clayton, and his family. Clayton and Candice had identical twin girls last November and also have 2 little guys so their hands are full. Clayton had to travel several times for work this summer so we were happy to be there to help Candice with the kids. My days were spent on family visits, kids outings and walks, baby feedings, changes and playtime. We loved the time we got with Clayton and Candice and the rest of the family. They made us very comfortable. Graeme and I had our own room as did Bailey, while Caleb and Ben shared a large rec room with their cousins. It was a great set up and we were excited to have some time with my family in Whitehorse.

It was an awesome blessing when my brother and his family and my sister with her family travelled to Whitehorse. We had a 10 day family reunion with all my siblings and their families. We had bbqs and fishing trips and play time at the park. It was special to all be together for the first time in several years.

While Graeme and I were in Whitehorse, we were invited to be part of a small foursquare church there. My parents and my brother's family have attended there for a while. The pastor of this church has been considering starting a school of ministry for some time. The development of ministry schools and equipping the saints is heavy on mine and Graeme's heart so we were drawn to commit to help this church for a few months. We were not sure what role we would play in helping the church out this summer, but were eager to make ourselves available to them. Shortly after we arrived in Whitehorse, Graeme started meeting with the pastor. When he was confident in Graeme's vision and heart, he wanted Graeme to start doing some teaching. Meetings were held weekly on Monday nights already, but the focus shifted a little as the pastor wanted to see his church moving with a culture of honour. Graeme started teaching weekly and was preaching occasionally in Sunday services too.

I was also stretched in our commitment to this church as I took on the role of worship leader for a season. Most Sundays I was leading the worship and a practise on Thursday nights. I have always been more comfortable in the background so this was a challenge to me. Preparing for worship was quite involved for me and usually took the better part of a day to nail down a list of songs and keys for the Thursday night practise. It was easier and easier as the summer progressed and I became more and more comfortable flowing by the spirit. I truly discovered this summer that "I love I love, I love his presence." and that was my heart and focus each time I was choosing songs. It was a growing season for me in this area.

While we were there, between teaching and relationship, we were excited to see God moving in restoration and reconciliation in the relationships around us. It was a blessing to see the hunger and passion on this body for God's presence and to see him move among them. Toward the end of our time in Whitehorse, many people were telling us that we needed to stay. God was moving in such amazing ways, but there was something in our hearts and in the air that said it was time to go. We are drawn to be part of what God is doing in Kelowna and we wanted to take some time to spend with Graeme's family.

We are now in another season of waiting. God has taught us to watch for the grace and so we watch and pray. We are trying to be present where we are at and not always look toward what is not here yet, but still our hearts are longing for an opportunity in Kelowna. We also have hopes and dreams about touching other nations with the message planted in our hearts so we are open to whatever the Lord is going to lead us into. There are open doors for us in a couple of places, but we are yet to feel a confidence that it is what God has for us in this moment. Please hold us in your prayers while we renew our strength and wait on the Lord.

Blessings,
Chris

Learning to Love ... And it hurts in all the right places.

2010-05-13T00:08:00.001-10:00

Learning to Love ... And it hurts in all the right places.

Ooooh, another one of those complicated questions are coming. I can feel it! Those mushy ooey gooey questions all full of feelings and heavies. Too much for you? Can't stand it? Turn back now cuz it's coming ... oh oh ... here it is. "BOOM!"

What does real love look like?

Phew, glad that's over with. But not so fast. There is so much heart wrenching loveliness to discuss here.

Have you ever been in one of those relationships that so oozed love that people were sickened by it?

You know what a mean! ... When you hear a kid lip their mom off and completely disrespect them, manipulate, call names, whine and complain about them and take advantage and you turn around to find mom running to their rescue with open arms because they just took a major dive off their skateboard and figured out they really shredded something up (pun intended :P). Oh ... maybe ... that's ... not the ooey gooey love you were thinking of?!?!

Maybe you were thinking of the absent husband that came home drunk and threw up all over the floor on his way to bed and you turn around to see the wife, kneeling on the floor in her housecoat, washing the floor with a bucket of water, a rag and a tear soaked tissue tucked in her bra. She gets up in the morning to fix him his eggs just like he likes them and a steaming hot cup of coffee.

No, still not the picture you were thinking?

Oooooh, you were thinking of the newlywed couple, who only met a few weeks ago and knew at first sight that destiny brought them together. They love every little thing about their new love. The funny little mole on his chin, the way she snorts when she giggles, can't keep their eyes or hands off each other and they have all these corny little lovey dovey things to say to each other. Then they turn around a few years later asking themselves what they were thinking and trying to find the highest rolling, lowest charging divorce lawyer in the phone book.

Wow, the pictures we have accepted as images of extravagant love!??! Honestly, it's all pretty dysfunctional and we know it, but where does that furious love of the Lord fit in all of this, in our dysfunctional world filled with misunderstandings, misunderstood, manipulations, control, codependency.

I'm learning a lot about love. Maybe my lesson is old hat to you, but this is my blog so bare with me while I process.

I've spent a long time looking at dysfunction and looking for the loopholes in all the Kingdom, Jesus, the scripture teach us about love. It's so easy to look at an abusive relationship (controlling, manipulative, passive - they come in all shapes and sizes) and give yourself permission to check out on the love factor.

I know what some of you are thinking ..... soooo Whoah! Hold your horses! I'm gonna get there.

I think this note is going to stir some pots, cuz, I know that there is the whole co-dependency thing, the facilitating thing, head in the sand, aiding and abetting, tough love, boundaries, drawing the line, controlling your destiny, rights! All those get mushed together to make a great big argument that says shutting off the love and checking out is okay.

But where is the love? How often do we counsel our friends or reason through our own situation while thinking of our rights, their rights. There are some people who are really great at keeping the love on while maintaining healthy boundaries and they should probably give lessons, but I really think it has become way to easy to justify withdrawal. Removing yourself from the relationship or at least removing yourself from the responsibility of love.

How many times has that abusive person in your life completely treated you unjustly? ... Too many to count?!?! It really hurt! That wasn't some fictitious pain. And that was totally not okay and it wasn't right ... Thoughts like "they are never going to treat me that way again! I'll teach them! I should've said ..." How many times have we stayed quiet in fear of waking the beast, rocking the boat. Just sit down, shut up, pretend it isn't happening and it will all go away. In fact, if I just walk away right now, it will never have to happen to me again. But what about this person that you once loved. Oh, I know! They have to want it ... their sickness is not your responsibility... am I my brother's keeper?

...But love!

When we were yet sinners Christ died for us! ... It's the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's not til we turn on the love and keep it on, that the person can truly get a glimpse of what they can become. If no one loves you, you feel no love. To feel no love means that your life will be consumed by fear and the tragic loss of identity. It's because He first loved us that our lives are worth anything today. And you know what! You are so worth it! a billion dollars! a whole garden of beautiful, fragrant roses, a sunny day, a majestic mountain, a heart warming song, a cool breeze on a hot day, that perfect parking spot when you don't feel like walking or a path completely free of dog poo when you do :)

You are worth it. And it's all because He loves you. It makes me think that an epic river of love that keeps flowing can actually change a person! For sure, I don't always feel like I'm worth it, but the Bible still says I am and who's gonna argue with the Bible? When they understand that they are worth it, than there is reason, maybe for the first time, to change.

I have a millions questions in my heart about what heaven's love looks like in the midst of dysfunction as I'm sure you do too. Or maybe you didn't before, but thanks to me you do now! Haha, I love the power of influence. There is one thing I know, that true love is not afraid to confront ... or maybe it is afraid, but love does it anyway. I was tempted to try to give you tools, but ultimately, the best teaching is Holy Spirit, after that there is Danny Silk ... haha. True! :)

I guess this is a great big note to say "Lord, teach me how to love the unlovelies!"

Teach me how to be genuine in my love, sincere in my action, brave in my communication and to live a life that will testify that I am a Christian.

"They'll know we are Christians by our love."

He loves you because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you. He didn't need any other reason.

I love you.

Where we're at.

2010-05-12T22:17:00.001-10:00

Well, I have left this far too long. I kept meaning to get back to updating the blog, but honetly just haven't been intentional enough to get down to it.

We left Nicaragua one month ago today. Wow, I just had to figure that out in my head and can't believe that much time has passed already. On April 6th, we flew into San Francisco and a great new friend brought us back up to Redding 24 hours after leaving Nica. It was a long day. Some more great friends left a house key for us when they left for spring break so we got to enjoy their beautiful home along with some peace and quiet, a fun puppy and a wonderfully comfortable king sized bed. It was a fun week, reconnecting with friends, getting in a couple services and meetings, sampling some of our old favourites (Yak's coffee, In N Out burgers, Trader Joe's treats). It was such a joy to have dinner here, coffee there, friends in. Felt so go to be loved and known again. You know what I mean?

After a week of fun we were back to the gruelling chore of travel. Not exactly how I would normally describe it being that I have loved travel so much, but another 24 hours straight felt like a lot! We were in the Redding train station at 3:30am, pulled into Seattle at 8pm and then, with the assistance of our gracious chauffeur, Amie Edwards, drove on to Kelowna, arriving at 2am. It was so good to feel like "We're here!". Ahhhhh, on solid ground ... at least for a season.

So yes, We are here, in Kelowna. We have been enjoying the company and hospitality of our extended family, the Edwards. The company never gets old :) Many a night spent staying up way too late talking about this and that, sometimes nothing much. It's almost like there is this little fear in each of the four of us that we will miss something if we go to bed before everyone else ... like being the first one to hang up on a phone call. Lots of life giving, friendship .. Like an endless sleepover. LOL We are so thankful for Jamie and Amie.

So what's next you may ask? Haha, well, that is exactly the question. Graeme has been invited back to Nicaragua to do some teaching for a couple weeks. We are not sure when that will happen, but intend on making it a priority. As far as the rest of us? ... and the rest of the year? Well, the last word of direction we received from the Lord was that this year was not going to be an improvisation even though it might feel like it. That God has pre-ordained .. divinely orchestrated it. So, in light of that word and the fact that it is constantly feeling like improvisation, we are trying to lean in ... lay our ears on his heart and try to get our direction from the whispers we hear in the spirit. Every move feels like a risk and at the same time it feels like we can't go wrong. Such a strange tension to be caught in.

For now we have a plan :) ... to stay in Kelowna until June 5th. My nephew is graduating and we want to be here to hoot and holler from the audience for him when he marches across the stage. Every good kid needs a thoroughly embarrassing family to sing his praises at such a moment. We have felt that this would be a good time to burden? ... grace? .. haha another household with our presence. As long as they're ready for us, we look forward to taking full advantage of the hospitality of Graeme's parents and his sister Wendy and her family in Irricana, Alberta. We are still listening to whispers and trying to catch the drum beat of heaven for the exact timing of the next stage.

There are more plans and hopes to head North to Whitehorse, not sure of exactly when or for how long, but again, ear to His heart. Learning to be lead on the trail marked by grace. So far we have seen grace for a stop in Edmonton and some time at a camp in the Yukon for the kids. They are really looking forward to it and time with their cousins.

Well, this update was a long time coming and I'm sorry to those of you who have been left in the dark. I'm going to try to be better at updating this in the future. I go through inspired seasons and dry ones, I hope in all seasons that it's still a good read ... haha.

Blessings,
Chris

The Word and Provision for the moment.

2010-03-19T08:41:00.002-10:00

Hopefully this will be a quick one.

I was just so blessed yesterday and I wanted to take the time to share. Graeme and I were on a skype call the other night and the context of the conversation reminded us of something. When we first arrived in the country, we need $25 for a visitors visa and we didn't know we'd need this so we didn't have any cash on us. We had to draw money off our credit card. This would be the first time using the pin number on our card and the first time using the card in Nicaragua so I was very prayerful that it would go through without a hitch. It did, because God is so faithful. A friend did some research at that time and gave us a head up to the fact that when we would leave the country that we would need $30 each in order to leave. The skype call was our first recollection of that fact since the first week we arrived in Nica. We looked at each other with "ohoh" in our eyes. At the moment we didn't have that much left and we still needed to buy food and stuff for the next few weeks.

There we were once again. In that place of standing on the edge, trusting in the provision of heavenly father to come through in just the right moment. I was torn between feeling trapped in Nica and believing that if the money didn't come through that maybe God wanted us to stay longer. But then there are the "buts" ... wasted airline tickets, trying to get extended visas on the spot, could we keep renting our rooms at our present house? We called a friend who was not in a position to give us the money, which we knew in advance. They are the best people to call in this moment because they will either find a way to get it for you regardless of their own circumstances or join with you in prayer to see Papa God deliver you. They prayed for us over the phone and prayed that God would even give us seed to sew into another ministry.

Yesterday, we met a man! He is a crazy guy. He talks really fast and really loud and has a thick american accent. We had spoken to him over the phone once, but his aggressive nature left us a little guarded. He came by just to meet us. He has been a missionary in Nica for many years, coming and going to the states. We came to find out that he really just wanted to support us and start to build relationship with us in effort to partner with us and God in ministering to the nation of Nica and the rest of the world. His heart was such a blessing and spirit power came with him. We were so blessed by our conversation with him that we asked if he would be another of our spiritual fathers. We told him that we felt that our life in ministry would greatly benefit from his 35+ years of experience doing the very thing we are doing and his heart.

But the other part of the testimony??!!?! ... Only minutes after walking in the house (besides offering us "starbucks coffee" which is the first praise report .. lol) He stopped himself and, with a surprised look on his face, said "I have to give you money. How are you for food?" We said, "Well, we are good for food." At this point he had put $50 in Graeme's hand. Then he said "No, I am supposed to give you $150 and I am going to get it to you in the next few days." We then shared with him about the fact that we prayed the day before for $150 to leave the country. He said, "Okay, you keep the $50 for food or whatever else you need and I will get you the $150." He said some amazing things to us about investing in the God in us and knowing what it's like to be on the mission field with your family. He mentioned understanding specific struggles, that we were, honestly, presently in the midst of. He brought both Graeme and I to tears with his love and support for us. Really, we are strangers, but he could discern our hearts and he knew our struggles and he was there to be a pillar in our lives.

Once again, we are confronted with the faithfulness of our father to provide everything we need. I was going to make this post shorter, but even as I wrote it and cried I realized that this post will never mean as much to anyone else as it does to me. So I write it for me and I know I will read it many times and cry every time I do as I ponder the fullness of God's love for me and his intention to meet and satisfy my every hearts cry. My Daddy loves me and so often his provision comes by way of another father in our lives. If you don't have a spiritual Daddy - get one! Get 10! and then let their example teach you how to love like the father. By the way, did you see the rest of the answered prayer in there? He's given us $50 and promised us $150 more - that leaves us with $50 to sew seeds. Should I be surprised that he answers with accuracy?

Blessings

Time is growing short.

2010-03-18T09:13:00.004-10:00

Our visit to Masaya Volcano

Well, it's that time again. I haven't written in a while so I should probably jot a few things down to fill you all in. Honestly, I have been so homesick lately that I have neglected the responsibility of being completely present in the moment. I don't know if it is the heat, the waves of boredom or just that it has been way too long since I last saw the people that I love, but my heart has been longing for home.

It is now a little over 2 weeks until our originally planned departure date. In some ways it feels too soon, but we can also see how things have started to wind down by way of access and opportunity. We have realized that we were here to plant seeds and stoke fires and we have had the privilege of getting to see some of the fruit of this already. We had some hopes ... maybe illusions? ... of a school of ministry starting before we left Nicaragua, but the Lord keeps reminding us that we are ground breakers and seed planters and that means that often our ministry comes as an introduction to revival. And then we move on to plough more ground. We will watch and pray ... hope ... and stay in relationship to encouraged local leaders in the pursuit of the kingdom when we leave. There are several people that we believe will be life long connections ... friends :)

This past Sunday was the first time I have done a formal sermon to a congregation. I preached in a church of the Nazarene in Managua. It was an evening service. There were probably 150 or so people there I think ... didn't really count. I was feeling like God wanted to empower the women of the congregation and that was why I was meant to preach. It was pretty cool too when I arrived and for the first time in our 3 months in Nica, there was a woman translator. Kind of a double whammy... lol. It was a little intimidating, especially to deliver some of the complexity of my sermon at the beginning through a translator .... talking about taking old testament scripture, comparing it to the greek, cross referencing it with the New Testament. I think that it was interesting enough but my need to get the idea across properly kept me focused and maybe a little monotone and a little less entertaining.

My sermon was about God's glory and how it was revealed in Jesus and the fact that Jesus gave it to us. Essentially it was this ... Christ in us, the hope of glory. My point was to value the presence and be so filled that the glory of God becomes a natural outpouring of our intimacy with him. Graeme said I was more animated in the 2nd half of the sermon when I wasn't so focused on my notes and just shared from my heart. I was starting to get comfortable up there. I was moved at the end of the sermon when the pastor invited anyone that recognized their need for more of Christ in them to come forward and just take the time to seek his presence. And the front of the church was filled with people who wanted more. I went up to. I may have preached the message, but that doesn't distinguish me from anyone in there! I want more! I want His glory to spill out of me. The pastor asked Graeme and I to go around and pray for people while they worshipped. There was one woman in particular whom I have been building relationship with. My heart went out to her. She needed to be transformed by the renewing of her mind and as I prayed for her she fell under the power of the spirit. She asked me later "What was that?" and I kind of laughed and said "That was the Holy Spirit!" She said, "I could feel my head getting warm while I was on the floor." She spoke to me about brokenness and adoration and the fact that she slept better that night than she has in a long time. She has struggled with insomnia. She felt like God removed some things that were wrong in her thinking and concluded that healing and release mean nothing if not for the presence! Even as I write I want to cry. It was like she could read my heart. All the things that I wanted to get into the message, but could barely get out were made plain to her in one encounter with His presence! Ohhhhh the presence!!!! OOOOOoooooooh the presence. This is what the Christian walk is all about! Connection with the Father. Everything else we need in life or we need to bring to this world will flow naturally from our time in His presence.

After the meeting that night, the pastor and his family blessed us so much. Ben had told their daughter the day before that he wished he could have his birthday in Nica so he could invite her. His birthday is not until Sept, so that wasn't going to happen, but they wanted to make it happen. So they had bought a pinata and filled it with candy and blew up a bunch of balloons. After dinner we went outside and had turns whacking the pinata. Ben was so excited and felt like a million bucks. When the evening was nearing it's end, we asked if we could pray for the pastor and his wife. They are presently at a corssroads in their ministry and during dinner God had given me a word for the pastors wife that was about activation and a powerful role in ministry. It fell in line with the fact that the Lord wanted to do something in the women of that church that night. When we prayed for them, I teased that maybe her daughter should stand behind her in case she falls. She laughed and said that she was a sensible woman. :) ... I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I had the idea that she didn't think anything was going to happen. Her daughter walked away and we started to pray. And? .... yep ... you guess it. She fell! There was no one behind her and we were standing on a concrete pathway so I jumped forward to catch her ... I don't know if you have ever tried, but it is very difficult to catch someone when you are standing in front of them and they are falling backwards. But as I leaned over her and set her gently on the ground I couldn't believe how light she was! How easy it was to catch her! It was as if an angel? ... the power of the Holy Spirit? ... I don't know! ... was catching her and I was only helping. I felt that this was a message from the Lord for them that they did not have to worry about what road they chose to follow next. Not to worry about falling, for the Lord would be there to catch them. He would be their safety net.

I didn't know for sure how many people my message impacted, but I knew for a fact that 2 people would never be the same because of the way they encountered God that night. I have learned in the past couple years that whatever I do, wherever I go, it will be worthwhile, no matter the sacrifice, if I can impact 1 person. Would you be willing to do it for 1? I have to be willing. I have to be satisfied. Because if I impact 1 and they impact 2 and those two impact 3 and somewhere down the road one of those people impact a politician and he gets into office and impacts a nation!?!?! We can never underestimate the intricacy of God's plan or his ability to take one well invested talent and turn it into a kingdom! Math in the kingdom is far more rewarding that 1+1=2. The language of the spirit is multiplication. It's yes and amen. It's 5 loaves and 2 fish = 5,000+ stuffed people.

I am so thankful that God can take the life of one Canadian girl, born to a mushroom farmer in Kelowna BC and make it into a masterpiece painted across the sky... That's my life, that's yours! Every conversation, every revelation can change a person. Whether you preach in a 3rd world country or someone overhears your testimony as you share with a friend across the table at Starbucks. Your life changes people when you allow his presence to impact your life. I love my life. I love my God. I love how God chooses to use my life. For we are God's glory. So Arise and shine for your light has already come and the glory of the Lord HAS risen upon you.

PS - There are more new pics in the last couple pages of my "latest pics" album. I think there are 7 or 8 pages in that album now. Click the button on the right if you want to view them.

What I'm learning.

2010-03-03T19:58:00.000-10:00

This has been such an amazingly crazy time in my life. I am learning new things everyday. I have been learning things about myself, about Graeme, the kids, Americans, Canadians, Nicaraguans, Christians, the church and my God. Honestly, this is part of what makes my life such an adventure. I love to learn new things, even more than learning would be the ability to retain, but that is diminishing with age, haha.

Just tonight I was realizing that I have learned that I should use a lot less conditioner in my hair when I take a cold shower. Something I never really thought about at home. I've been extremely fortunate and privileged to have only had to do this about half a dozen times so far. I've also learned that at 35+ degrees, without air conditioning, a cold shower can feel quite refreshing, after the first 2 minutes :) I have also learned how to flush a toilet that does not have water pumped into the back of it and to remind myself not to drop toilet paper into the toilet bowl unless I want to have to go and fetch it to put it in the waste basket next to the toilet. I've learned to wash my feet before bed if I don't want to wash the sheets everyday. I've learned to carry hand sanitizer a lot more often. I've learned that local produce is far cheaper and that apples in Central America are priced each and not per pound. I've learned that there is no easy out when someone has prepared for you an elaborate meal, a local delicacy, that is completely unappealing to a North American palate, especially when you have children. I've also learned that my kids have learned to be very gracious.

I've learned that the Nicaraguan people, though surrounded by injustice and poverty, will bend over backwards and spend their last dime to feed you, quench your thirst with an icy coke, take care of you and honour you. In many of these moments I am so humbled by the generousity and I am even more grateful for the fact that my kids are learning to be gracious. There is this one young pastor who is so desperate to see the kingdom come in his city and his church. He makes $300 per month and he pays for the gas once a week for someone to come and get us 2 1/2 hours away to come to his town and teach for one or two nights. He has come and picked Graeme up, returned to his city and then brought him home again the same night. That is 10 hours of driving for him. Last week, when we went to his city as a family, he paid a woman in his church for 3 meals a day for each one of us for 3 days and wouldn't hear of it when we offered to help with the cost of food or gas. Then he called a friend in our city, asked him to come and pick us up and drive us home. They didn't hesitate to oblige, to drive 5 hours to take some strangers home. The young pastor passed them some gas money as we said goodbye.
"Counting the cost" ... whatever it takes, whatever he can give or spend or sacrifice to see the kingdom come and we are the ones that God chose to send! Ahhh .... my God! Be in us! Be on us! Fill us .. consume us. Let us be all things to all men! Let us bring the kingdom that their sacrifice isn't for nothing! I guess this is what it is all about. Jesus, that your sacrifice was not for nothing. Let us bring freedom! True true freedom, true release ... heaven!

I'm learning that the Father knows what we need before we even speak it. Well, actually, I have seen it after we spoke it out mostly, but realize constantly how His plan was already in the works before we started to pray about it or ask. A young couple that were part of some of the first services that we ministered in here in Nica have been so excited by our message. They have heard Graeme speak several times in different churches and been totally impacted. They are really fresh, new believers or at least new in the kingdom sort of stuff. They came up to Graeme last week after a meeting and said, "You look tired. You need a vacation! We want to take you. Have you heard of San Juan del Sur?" ... have we?!?! We have been talking about it since before we came to Nica. We were hoping for an opportunity to go there and enjoy the waves. This young couple have 2 babies, one is 2 and the other is 3. He drives a taxi and I think she stays home. They made it seem easy for them to arrange the time and 2 vehicles to take us for the day to the beach several hours away. Then they treated our family to a great big seafood platter with lobster, fish, shrimp. The kids were so excited! It was such a treat. Graeme and the kids spent at least 5 hours in the water and we all had the rosy glow to prove it. It was an amazing day with some amazing people including a pastor and his wife that came along to offer more space for our family with their vehicle.

I am learning that my God is good, that He is just waiting for the opportunity to lavish His love on us. I've learned that when we invite His presence, if we are willing to wait, He will always show up and every time He moves on me I am changed. I've learned that no matter who you minister to, you just have to get them to the place where they will command sickness to leave and invite Holy Spirit to come and He will show up and heal people. Even if they have bad theology or just don't get it. Because it is not about them, it's not about us. It's all about him. Graeme gave this awesome message this past Sunday night about choosing how you are going to live your life. Are you going to live your life according to your own experience or according to a belief that says "My God is able to do what He said He would do!" He got people who needed a miracle to stand up, the rest of the body to come around them and layed hands. The body was so reluctant. You could just hear the doubts. "I am no healer." .. "I have never seen anyone healed by my prayers" ... "What if I am the one to pray for the person and I don't carry the gift?" ... "What if it doesn't work and it makes the person doubt God more?" I had to practically drag some people out of their isle and over to the members of their congregation that were asking for prayer. Graeme told them to find out what the problem is ... then he told them to pray short simple prayers ... "Command the pain to leave" ... "Invite Holy Spirit to come and minister to them" .... now Stop! ... Stop praying! .... No long winded prayers! Sometimes when he does this I start to feel a little uneasy. Almost like, "What if they didn't pray long enough?" ... "What if they didn't get to the right words yet?" ... "We don't want to offend them by cutting them short!" But that would make it about us right?!?! ... Graeme told people to check themselves out. He asked for a show of hands of people that were healed ... There were like 3 people healed!!! In like 20 seconds of prayer! Then he said, "If they were not completely healed, thank the Lord for any improvement and start again "Command the pain to leave, invite the Holy Spirit!" ... Stop! ... a couple more people were healed! I am once again totally taken back by the simplicity of the way that God moved in the moment. It was like He was just waiting for the people to position themselves in a place of authority over the sickness and take a step of faith to invite Him to move and He comes! in power! changing everything in a moment for people who have been longing to see Him move for years.

I'm learning that the truth is simple, that hunger draws heaven and surrender to His presence brings the love which is demonstrated in power. There were several people healed this week without any prayer. One guy's leg grew out before Graeme even had the chance to pray. A woman's sore feet stopped hurting as she listened to the truth about what our God is able to do. Another woman stood for prayer and felt no healing until the end of the service when we had a time of worship and started to celebrate what God had done with dancing and singing. As she danced, the pain left and she came up at the end of the service to share through tears that God had touched her when no one else was there to say any special words. She just chose to worship and He moved on her.

I am so thankful and so excited to be attending the school of the Spirit. No money could buy an education like this. I hope that no matter where God takes us after we are done here, that I never lose sight of all that my God is in me, on me and for me. I think I'm learning what that song means, "It's all about you!" .... Teach me more, Lord.

Lost in Translation? Not when God's on it!

2010-02-23T07:58:00.004-10:00

Pastor Arsenio

and Arsenio Sr.

the leaders

Diriamba from the classroom

I had a dream last night.
I was swimming in deep dark waters along side of large ships. I was nervous because I couldn't see what was in the water and I had no idea what was coming, what was in front of me, what was in the water. Even though I was afraid I was amazed at the fact that I could swim so fast and get so far. Swimming next to the wake of an emormous ship didn't throw me off my path or push me under. I just kept swimming.

This is such an amazing picture of my life in this season. My journey as I move in the things of the spirit, intimidated by the greatness of some of the things I want to teach like healing and moving in the power of the Holy Spirit; ever feeling insecure because I don't know what's in me, can't see deep inside ... But God! Moving with the flow of His Spirit carrying me far and fast to accomplish great distances. It has been such an amazing experience and I am so thankful for the opportunity to swim this river in the season of my life.

It was an amazing weekend in Diriamba. The Holy Spirit came faithful to His promise to show up whenever we call on him.

On thursday night, I shared a testimony of a twisted foot being healed. The presence of Holy Spirit was on me so strongly. I knew God wanted to do it again. The leaders in the class were reminded of a guy, Francisco, who does maintenance for the church. He had a twisted hand. Someone went to look for him and returned to the classroom a few minutes later. I planned to teach the leaders the healing model so took this opportunity to demonstrate it to them. I was holding Francisco's twisted hand with both my hands while I prayed a simple prayer. As I prayed, I could feel his whole hand pivoting in mine while his wrist remained still. It was amazing! When we finished praying I asked him how it felt. His hand was still twisted, but the pain was gone! So I asked him if I could pray again. Once again, while we prayed I could feel his hand pivoting in mine and his fingers and knuckles straightening. It was so good. The translator and I could barely believe our eyes.

This demonstration of God's love set the stage for an awesome encounter with God. The faith of the leaders was growing as they heard the testimonies and watched God touch Francisco's hand and heal a woman's back pain. I spoke with them about words of knowledge and how God highlights a particular thing that he wants to accomplish in that moment. Everyone waited on the Lord for a word of knowledge and several things were called out like bone disorders, bronchitis, ear problems among others. People raised their hands and then I encouraged them to start praying for one another, to invite the Holy Spirit to come and minister to them, to command any pain to leave. It took a few minutes of clarification and reminders to keep it simple and suddenly you could see the joy start to erupt as people realized that they were healed and those praying realized how God had just used them in power. As testimonies came forth, more of the leaders came forward for prayer and I welcomed those who were just healed to pray ... And more testimonies came forth ... and more requests!! It was like supernatural dominoes as pain and affliction bowed at the name of Jesus. At least 9 people were healed in the meeting that night (knees, forearms, bronchitis, sore throats, ear problems, backs). The joy was bubbling over as they gloried in the demonstrations of God's love.

On Friday night, I shared with the leaders about SOZO, focusing mainly on the father ladder. I walked them through the tool corporately to give them a taste of the healing that it brings to walk through forgiveness of people and see the Godhead in a different light. Afterward, I took them on an encounter, a "first date" of sorts, to start their journey with the person of the Godhead that they felt least connected to. It was beautiful to see so many men and women touched by the presence of God, completely surrendered in the hope of knowing Him more. Many people testified after, through tears of joy and release, of a love that they had never felt, a sense of being in a place that they had always longed for. What a privilege it was to listen to their intimate love encounters.

Saturday was the icing on the cake. We learned together about Supernatural Evangelism, getting drunk and then taking the love out to the world. The healing that they experienced over the past few days and weeks had evidently become a new wine skin. The people were courageous and filled with a sense of hope and adventure as they dipped their invisible cups in the river and drank as much as they wanted. They were excited by the accuracy of their hearing when they went out with treasure maps to find the treasure that Holy Spirit was leading them to. One guy in particular, was dancing in the park with excitement when his treasure found him! A man matching several of the clues on his map approached us and asked us to pray for him. He was healed immediately and it glowed in the smile on his face. The team was as happy as he was. Back in the classroom we shared testimonies of people healed and treasures found and the leaders were filled with excitement. They couldn't believe all that they had encountered in the past few weeks.

No matter how many people you touch or encourage, I'm realizing that every outreach is an inreach because every time Holy Spirit moves in power you are once more in awe of the mystery revealed again ... "Christ in you, the hope of glory!"

Happy Valentines Day

2010-02-14T18:31:00.004-10:00

Feb.14 comes once again. And love is in the air ... ahhhh. But it's not that squishy romantic boy meets girl kinda love, although I still enjoy that too :) Have you heard it? It's in the lyrics that fill our worship and the messages that are preached week after week no matter what country you are in. I believe the message on God's heart this year is love. It's not like it ever stopped being His message because He is love, but maybe we are starting to push back the clouds of fear and punishment just enough to see clearly His perfect love shining down on us. We have heard the message preached time and again that "they will know they are Christians by our love" but never has this message rang as loudly as it has been in the past few weeks.

We visited an "International" (aka American) church today. I had no idea of their theology or their vision, but knew that they had English worship and possibly Sunday School. It's been a tough go for the kids to attend spanish services week after week. To sit through spanish worship and often Daddy preaching has not been their idea of fun. So we agreed to visit this church so that they could feel more part of what was going on. I don't think the kids felt any more part of what was going on. In fact the whole thing felt foreign. It was a conservative service with some hymns and contemporary worship mixed together, which would have been alright. It was hardly the kind of worship we love to dance and worship freely, but it was familiar and some great songs like Everlasting by Hillsong and Indescribable. I knew we didn't quite fit in though when a couple of the youth noticed how freely we worshipped and turned and whispered to their friend and snickered. I thought .. Really? ... Here? ... in church I am going to be mocked for giving God glory? Can you tell it was already at this point that I was starting to get offended? I tried really hard to not be distracted by people and just worship, but the atmosphere was heavy and freedom did not feel welcome.

The guy that preached was in town doing a conference. He spoke to us about how much we allow sin in our life is the true testimony of how much we love God based on the scripture that says "if you love me, you will obey my commands." He had a point and I was trying really hard to get past the fact that he used scripture and words out of context, but when he started throwing shame and guilt into the mix and suggested that each time I fall that Jesus is feeling the pain of the nails driven once again?!?! He even had a guy dressed in a white sheet and then smeared actual excrement on him to demonstrate what we do to Jesus each time we sin. Gross! Poop! and I don't agree with this guy, but I totally understand his stand point. Leaders like this man so want us to make better choices that they try to make us feel dirty, guilty or ashamed enough about our sin that we will change, but they forget that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Paul called us saints to encourage us to see ourselves as God sees us when he looks at us through the veil of the shed blood of Jesus. Did you know that when you are hidden in the rock of your salvation that God sees you as holy? He doesn't see all the poop. It is meant to encourage us to want to raise the standard that we live by because we love God so much that we want to live up to how he chooses to see us and we can't do this by our own effort, by our works (lest anyone should boast). Holy Spirit is there to help us with the new standard. We are going to mess it up sometimes, but there is no guilt and shame in that. God gives first honour, first grace. In Romans 5:19 Paul says that it is through the obedience of one man that many are made righteous. That is why Jesus says if you love me you will obey my commands. In 1 John 3:23 we are told what Jesus commands are: "And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, (this is the "through the obedience of one man") and to love one another as he commanded us. We are commanded to believe in the name of Jesus and love as he loved us. It is not about keeping the 10 commandments. It is not about being sinless. We just have to believe that Jesus paid the price and realize that no matter how hard we try in and of ourselves that we could never measure up. But we don't have to. Holy Spirit will help us with that. We just have to learn how to love! And how do we do that? We take the time to get to know how much God loves us, how much Jesus gave us. Don't get to know it through guilt, but through gratitude. And what is the best way to demonstrate gratitude for a gift?!?! Use it for the purpose it was given, walk in it, share it. When we love one another and believe in His name, we are obeying His commands and it says in 1 John 3:22 to "... receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him."

I want to know His love so much that it becomes me. If God is love and I am becoming like him than I am becoming love. What does it look like when God's love comes from me? I started to wonder this week. How much of what I thought was love is merely responsibility... commitment ... obligation ...Ouch! I'm not trying to dish out guilt or shame! Don't get me wrong. No condemnation. I just started to wonder. Do I really know love? Do I know what it looks like? Do I know how to give it? Do I look like my Father in heaven when the world looks at me. The answer ?... I really don't know, but I know I want to and I know the Lord wants to show me. So what do I do? .... I have to boldly come before the throne of grace ... quote Oliver Twist ... and ask "please sir ... can I have some more?" How else will we know it except to encounter it? When we can cast the shame and fear aside, we can see the loving heart of the Father just waiting for us to ask. His cup is overflowing, held out poised to pour out His love on us. Truly, we don't even have to ask. He is standing there loving us, but maybe we need eyes to see it.

In light of my need to see more of His love, I thought I would share a few little things that were a simple testimony of God's love for me this Valentines day. About Thursday, when Graeme was in another town and I was alone with the kids, I started to think about how I had not been away from my kids for over a month now and it was really starting to wear on me. I was starting to pout about how it wasn't going to be much of a Valentines Day this year. I was missing good chocolate, eating out and date nights, icey cold drinks and long walks. I'm not too proud to say that I was having a bit of a pitty party. But my bad attitude was no barrier for God's love. Saturday came and I got on my computer in the morning. There was a message from an American family here in Managua. They wanted to know if the kids could come over to play. They wanted to pick them up for the afternoon. The kids were thrilled and Eric drove up at 1pm followed only 2minutes later by Graeme being driven back from Diriamba where he'd spent the last 3 days. Eric said that they would keep the kids til 8pm and feed them dinner. Graeme got out of the car with take out that they bought for him on the way home. It was chicken and a big icey bottle of coke. We had a great afternoon of lounging in the hammock, watching movies and a nice long walk at the perfect temperature. It was just what I needed and I felt so grateful. God's so good at taking care of all the big things and all the little things. I think I have only seen the tip of the iceberg though so like the adventurer I am, I will continue the pursuit of understanding His love and I know my heart will be overwhelmed with the boundless expanse I discover. But I know I'm not just pursuing it for me but for it in me. I think this is how we display His glory; to be a true representation of His love.

Metanoia Children's Home

2010-02-02T12:32:00.004-10:00

The kids and I spent some time at the Metanoia Children's Home in Tipitapa this past weekend. The home has a similar vision and mission to that of the Villa de Esperanza that I shared of previously. They take in children from the local dump (another region of Managua - different dump), feed and clothe them and give them an education and a relationship with the Lord and a hope and a future. The children have at least one living relative so they are not "orphans" per say, but their living conditions left them in dire need of attention. Some from lifestyles of abuse, others neglect and still some are simply the victims of poverty. Their families are without the resources to feed and clothe them or make sure they are educated and cared for. These are the same children that were with us at the church in Rosario. They were the ones who so willingly participated in prophesy and prayer and saw 5 or more people healed when they prayed.

Some kids from a neighbouring community came to the home on Saturday for a friendly soccer match against the children in the home. Our kids joined in some of the fun, but not so much in the soccer. Ben would have played, but we were there barely 10 minutes and Ben fell and scraped his knee pretty bad, left him limping around the rest of the morning. They enjoyed playing in the playground, picking up the baby chicks, having lunch and just hanging around. The home is making a great effort toward raising revenue for the operations of the home. They are growing several types of fruit and beans, raising some chickens and just getting into Tilapia farming. The kids who live there are so full of life and joy. Such beautiful kids. There were some older boys who wanted Caleb's phone number so they could practise English with him and Ben has made friends wherever he goes. It was a full morning.

After our time in the heat of Tipitapa we revelled in the air conditioning of a movie theatre. It is one of the cheaper forms of entertainment here in Managua. We can watch a movie for about $3 a piece. Unfortunately, most of the more family oriented movies that are animated are quite easy to voice over with spanish so the English options for families are not many. We went to see "Old Dogs" with John Travolta and Robin Williams. It was alright, I don't think it would get too many thumbs up from our family, but it was safe and a brief reprieve from the heat. I'm sure we'll go again in the coming months.

Presently our days are filled mainly with homeschooling. I pray each day for an opportunity for the kids to do something so that they don't go crazy with boredom. The preaching opportunities are many, but the touring opportunities are few. There are several people who have offered our family time to spend a weekend at the beach or to visit in a Northern community, but we are waiting for the right timing. In the meantime we take short walks and read and watch DVD's or go to the grocery store once or twice a week and usually have at least one outing a week. We were taken out for pizza after church on Sunday, that was a treat. We are praying for some time at the beach soon. We may ask some friends for a ride.

Graeme is starting a teaching streak of 6 days in a row tonight. Please pray for him for strength and wisdom. He may be away from us for a couple of nights so pray for fun for the kids and I so I don't go crazy preoccupying them :) Caleb and Bailey are looking forward to youth group at the American school on Friday night and we told the kids we would take them to an English service this week. We live a block away from the American school where they hold English services on Sunday. I'm hoping they have Sunday school too.

I have posted a few pics in this update, but click on the "latest pics" link on the right hand side of the blog to see the rest of the album.

Blessings.

Raising up a chosen generation!

2010-01-29T09:50:00.009-10:00

Last night was such an awesome night. We went to a little church in Rosario. I think it's about 45 minutes to an hour east of where we are living. Hard to tell sometimes what direction we are travelling. The church is a young church plant of about 15 members, but other groups joined them to come and hear of all that God is doing. Our new friend, an American guys named John Vaughan was speaking. He shared his testimony of how he once knew God and walked away for a season and then met God again on the floor of his home. He told everyone how God didn't care how long he'd walked away or what he had done while he was gone. God welcomed him back with open arms and started to move in his life. He shared with the church the fact that God doesn't care who you are or what you have done. He wants to use everyone.

One of the groups that joined the church last night was a group of children that live in a ministry run home. The children are not orphans, most of them have parents who have arranged for the ministry to care for them because they come from extreme poverty at the dump and many from dangerous situations like physical or sexual abuse. This is similar to the Villa de Esperanza who ministers in the dump in Managua, but the ministries are to 2 different dumps. There were about 10 children that came and they were soooo present. It was so natural for them to enter in, to worship and to listen to the teaching. It was the perfect time to activate the children of Nicaragua.

When John was finished teaching, we started a time of releasing prophetic words. Graeme invited the children to the back of the church and gave them a mini lesson on hearing the voice of God. These children are already taught about the love of God and the power of the Holy Spirit by the Christian ministry that cares for them so this was not a huge stretch for them to believe that God would talk to them. I think that the stretch was more for the adults present in the service. Those attending, besides the local members, included staff and volunteers from a large, influential church in Managua and other Christian ministries. Graeme brought the children to the front of the congregation and demonstrated what it looks like to give a word. They were hesitant to step forward, but one little girl stepped out and took the mic. She called out a young woman in the church whom she didn't know and gave a word similar to what Graeme spoke over someone. At first glance it appeared that she might be copying. She said to the woman that she saw a mango seed over her head and that it was green. It didn't seem to mean anything to the woman. Graeme followed the little girl be stating that a seed over someone's head might speak of an idea that is going to grow and mature. The young woman's eyes lit up and she told me after that she had been thinking of an idea and just the day before she prayed and asked God for confirmation that it was the right thing to do. He told her that she must believe like a child to truly know His will in this. So this child bringing a word about a mango seed was exactly the confirmation that God told her would come. A couple more children shared pictures and gave words. It was really good.

After the time of prophecy, we were entering into a time to pray for healing. We wanted to activate the church to pray and not be the prayer team. So we invited anyone with pain in their body to come to the front and then we invited the kids to come up and lay hands on them. Through an interpreter the children were instructed on how to interview the person to find out the problem, to find out how much pain there was on a scale of 1-10 and then to pray brief and powerful prayers by inviting Holy Spirit to move and commanding the pain to go. Some people felt the pain leave immediately and others felt the pain decrease. For those who still felt pain we encouraged the children to pray again and they still saw more improvement. There were at least 5 people who said they were healed at the end of our prayer time. The children were so excited so see God move through them and the adults were surprised and maybe even skeptical, but some believed and were totally challenged. One woman told me that this was an unforgettable moment and it would stay with her the rest of her life. One of the staff from the influential church is a children's pastor and we are praying that God will give him opportunity and courage to bring this message to the children of his church.

There is no little Holy Spirit. It is so exciting to see children learn at a young age to listen to the voice of God and obey because they can move heaven and earth. When they see God move through their hands and their hearts, no one can ever take that encounter from them. No matter where life will take them there will always be that moment where God used them and it will be a moment to draw them deeper into the kingdom for the rest of their lives. To know God loves them and no matter how big, how small, how experienced or inexperienced ... God can use you anytime, anyplace, all He needs is a willing heart and an open ear ... oh ... and courage. Lord, give us more courage! Make us like children ... willing to step out in faith and take risks to see your power displayed through our hands. We don't need to worry about the outcome. God said to Graeme when he was really worried that God wouldn't show up when he prayed ... "Good thing it's not up to you!" We are not responsible for the outcome of our prayers. When we get that, the fear to pray for people is removed. The only thing we are responsible for is to bring someone into an encounter with God's love. They don't need an encounter with our words of persuasion or our knowledge of the scripture. They just need to feel love. We welcome the Holy Spirit and whether we feel him or not, He will always come when we call. And He will pour out His love and that person will leave changed. Just the fact that we risk looking like a fool to show God's love to someone is an act of love. So go, be a peculiar people, look like a bunch of Jesus loving weirdos and see the power of God displayed through your hands and as you display the love of God to the unseen kings. LOL - I think I get weirder everyday and more and more comfortable with the idea at every moment.

This picture is really hard to see, but I wanted to share the moment. We went for pizza after the church service. Ben spent a lot of time at the front of the shop, watching the guys making pizzas and he noticed the owner. She was limping and Ben deduced that one leg must be shorter than the other. He asked if one of the pastors would come with him to translate so he could pray for her. The pastors were cautious so Ben and Graeme honoured their wishes and didn't take a lot of her time, but they prayed none the less and we are hoping that she felt the love and the power.

Blessings.

Ministry

2010-01-24T13:40:00.002-10:00

It has been such a full week. Graeme was supposed to speak last sunday morning, but due to some unexpected changes had to step aside. This was the second time his preaching chances were nixed, but he still had no trouble filling the week up with ministry opportunities.

Sunday night Graeme was invited to go out to a city called Masaya. They had invited a whole team of Bethel people to come over the weekend, but the team had been stretched too thin and the leader had to say no to some things. The church in Masaya was so disappointed and phoned our host, Pastor Ricardo, to ask him if there was anything he could do. He spoke with Graeme who was happy to oblige. It meant that Graeme would skip our last team meeting, but it was worth it. God showed up in power and people were healed. It was an awesome time. The day before, I was praying and asking God for some direction about how to minister while we are here and he gave me 1 Corinthians 2:4. In this verse, Paul is speaking to the Corinthians and said to them that when he first arrived, he did not come with words of persuasion, but with Spirit and with power. I shared this with Graeme, but I sensed that he was kind of set on preaching the sermon that was on his heart. He said he would keep it in mind though and consider how to do that. When he got up to the pulpit at Masaya and opened his Bible, he realized that he had forgotten all the notes that he wrote for his sermon and was not prepared to wing it. He was reminded immediately of the verse that I shared with him and him and God had a moment. He started to look to the Holy Spirit for the next move and it was all good. I wrote a little more about this night a couple posts ago if you'd like to read more.

Monday was a great day meeting and spending time with Pastor Arsenio. Wednesday night we went out to his church in Diriamba. Graeme got to preach again and he did such an awesome job of showing the church that everything they long for is birthed from an encounter of love with the Father. I could feel where it was going and was pretty confident that Graeme was going to do to me what he always threatens to do when it looks like he'll have an opportunity to preach. At the end of his sermon, he called me up to the stage and then whispered to me that I could say no if I wanted to. Hehe ... yeah right. I'm standing on stage in front of 550 people and I am going to say "No, I don't want to help you!" Fortunately, I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart before Graeme asked me. It was time to give the church a love encounter. The band was already on stage and playing quietly so Graeme asked me to sing prophetically. I only sang for a few minutes, but it went well. The pastor said that the atmosphere in the place changed when I sang and he asked me if I would teach his worship team to flow with the Holy Spirit like that. I was so nervous, hadn't done anything like that for a while, but it felt right. I hope I get more chances to do that. It's really where my heart is.

Pastor Arsenio from Diriamba has asked Graeme and I to move out to his town. It is about 45 minutes away. He offered to provide us with a house that a church member owns and it would be free of charge. The offer was very tempting, but we really feel that God has established us here at Pastor Ricardo's place. The other house would be much more secluded, harder to get transport from. There are fewer social opportunities for the kids there and we would be less central to some of the other ministry options that are potentially coming up. We were torn in making the decision not to move. Pastor Arsenio is so desperate, so hungry for more. It is a privilege to have such influence and we hope to find a way to get out to Diriamba several days a week throughout the month of February and March to help him train his leaders in Bethel culture and just be available to mentor him or give to him what we know and understand about kingdom culture and kingdom government. Please pray for wisdom for us in this. We really need to know what God wants to help us develop our priorities and a healthy schedule.

On Friday night, Caleb and Bailey were excited to go to youth group with Judith. Judith is part of the Hernandez family with whom we live. She attends an American Christian school here in Nica and youth group there on Friday nights. The kids were so excited to meet other Christian kids that speak English. There was an awesome worship band, fun games and American snacks. Bailey and Caleb are looking forward to going again in a couple of weeks.

While they were at youth, Graeme, Ben and I went with Pastor Arsenio to meet some of his friends here in Managua. They were an American couple who have lived in Nica for 7 years. They had a beautiful home, fed us an amazing steak dinner (no beans and plenty of veggies - yum) and some yummy baking which is a rarity here. The best part was the fact that they have 2 boys and a girl and they are all fluent in English and Spanish. The oldest boy is 10 and him and Ben totally hit it off. We barely saw them all night as they ran around in the dark playing tag and goofing off in the house. We had awesome conversations about the power of God moving, heard testimonies of his power and provision. We had another couple from Bethel with us who stayed in Nica when the rest of the Bethel team left. We all took the opportunity to pray and prophecy over the couple who's home we were visiting and God did some awesome stuff. It was a great night. We were barely out of the driveway when Ben asked me if we could come back tomorrow. The cool thing is that this family brings their kids to the American Christian school only a block and half away from our place. I'm confident we'll get together again and Ben may even get to play soccer with his new friend Spencer when they start in February. I think Ben and Graeme will both be pushing for another visit. Graeme found another external processor and they really hit it off. They could have gone on all night.

Today was fun. Graeme got to preach twice. I went to the first service and he did really well considering he had at least a one hour sermon and he was left with a little over 30 minutes. The kids and I went home after the first service. They get a little bored at church because there are no English classes for them. Graeme was a little disappointed with second service, feeling like at didn't work out as well as first service, but I know however it went that it was truth and God could use it. When we came home, I was right into helping out with a big bbq that the Hernandez family was having. I baked a cake, made a potato salad and provided some hot dogs and buns. They have 2 families visiting from the states with whom they have a lot of history, so it was a good time to celebrate with a bbq. The Hernandez family doesn't have a gas grill or anything so they bbq "flintstone style" they call it. It is just a stack of cinder blocks with a sheet of metal to hold the coals and then they put a heavy duty pan on the top to cook stuff on. Just like a typical North American bbq there was way too much food and all of us are full and thankful for a chance to nap, relax and take a siesta. The kids are having fun playing around the yard with some other kids that are around, climbing the tree, kicking a ball, throwing a frisbee, playing basketball and playing with the dog. It's a great day and a great life. I'm so thankful for it.

It's been a good week ... full ... impactful ... and leaves me feeling like we are doing what we're here for. I love that. It's like God had it all planned out or something ?!?! I know he did. Check out some of our pics of the last week by clicking the "latest pics" link on the right hand side of the blog.

Blessings.

555

2010-01-22T21:23:00.000-10:00

This has been my number for months. I know that I already wrote about my 222 kick and that still shows up on occasion as does 1111, but 555 has been my number for about 9 months. I started seeing 1111 then 222 then 333 and triple 4's. Around that time I was reading a book by Bill Johnson where he spoke of a time when God kept waking him up at 5:55 and He asked the Lord what he was trying to say. Holy Spirit told Bill Johnson that the season for the cancelation of dept was upon him. At that time I had noticed the frequency of my number encounters increasing in value and consistency and I said to the Lord, "I am ready for the triple 5's, Lord." And sure enough I started to see them. I know I know, if you are looking hard enough for something to happen there's a good chance that you will coincidentally happen upon it often enough for it to seem odd, but I can't tell you how many time I happen across this number! Constant emails and posts time stamped at 5:55 and checking the clock 5 times in a day where the minutes turned to 55, license plates, tv ads, newspaper adds, how much time is left on my laptop battery and then our last flight to Managua left Atlanta at 5:55pm and the flight was scheduled to take 3 hours and 55 minutes. The day we arrived in Managua there was a mild earthquake felt in Redding at 5:55pm.

As I've said before, a coincidence is when God does a miracle and remains anonymous. I'm excited about this because I believe 555 is for all of us. It's not just for me. The season for the cancelation of debt is upon us. What does this mean? It means no more looking back. It means no more paying for what was and looking behind at all the debt we have accrued. It is the season for new beginnings. 2009 was a year of transition. God told me in the spring that He was tearing down things he'd built and uprooting what he's planted. That there were castles made of sand, things that he had started that couldn't be built any higher or grow any taller because of where we had taken them. God had bigger plans and the only way to take us where he wanted us from where we were, was take us back down to our foundations, back to the basics, to a place of new beginnings. It's 2010 and God is doing a new thing. I believe that this is the year of establishment. God is starting things all over the place and they are going to succeed and they are going to grow quickly. Frankly, I feel like we are in for a wild ride!! We can't let the things of the past hold us back. We can't let the enemy remind us of what was, what we owe or how we failed. Because his blood is sufficient, covers all and pays in full.

Practically, how does this look? I can't say I really know! But I guess I would have to take a look at my life, my hopes and my dreams and consider what are my greatest fears? What are the things that hold me back every time? What is the one thing that makes me feel like my hands are tied? His hands were nailed ... for my freedom ... his feet bound and nailed so that I would never be held captive by my past. We are free to run! free to hope! free to dream without the fear that nothing will come of it? For some of us, just dreaming is moving ahead so I pray tonight that anyone who read this will feel the inspiration to dream bigger, to run faster, to stretch your tent pegs and prepare for increase because the Father has great things in store for this year.

In 9 months of seeing 555, I never read this verse until tonight. I happened across this:

Isaiah 55:5

Behold, you will call a nation you do not know, and a nation which knows you not will run to you, Because of the Lord your God, even the Holy One of Israel; for He has glorified you.

This is my 555 - this is me running and trying not to let the past hold me back. We came to Nicaragua with natural debt and little by little God is helping us pay it down. His provision has been nothing short of miraculous as have the encounters with his presence and the people of Nicaragua. We have come to a nation we did not know and because of the Holy Spirit and his drawing we have been given great opportunity to influence. We are really doing it ... We're running and when I run I feel his pleasure. This is what I was born for, for such a time as this. Thanks God for choosing me and using me.

Blessings.

2010-01-18T17:29:00.000-10:00

Finding Gold

2010-01-18T14:18:00.001-10:00

Today was a great day. We were meant to start homeschooling, but the kids barely got through one subject before we had another plan. There is a pastor, Arsenio, that we met at the conference. He is so passionate, so hungry, so desperate for more of God and he is filled with generosity to match. He really has the abundance of the kingdom as part of his lifestyle. He wanted to take us out for lunch because his heart is filled with the hope of gleaning as much as he can from us and our experience with Bethel. He showed up at the house with a 4 door sedan. He forgot that we had 3 kids and he really wanted us all to come, so, since seat belt laws are few and far between? ... Ben was on Graeme's lap in the front seat while Bailey sat on Caleb's lap and Bathsheba and I squeezed in next to them. Have you ever heard that joke about how many elephants you can fit into a VW bug? ... lol ... I've lived it :) It doesn't matter how fancy the car is, the practicality of their culture remains the same ... Everyone is always welcome and there is always space for more.

We thought we were going to go to a Burger King or equivalent of a KFC, but we ended up at this really nice place called RostiPollo. Something like Swiss Chalet only more ... how do you say ... mexican? latin? spanish? It was really nice, tasty. I had this drink called cocoa (koh-koh-ah). It is made with milk and ground cocoa beans, tastes like something between chocolate milk and chai ... it was so good. The kids loved it too. We also tried this juice made of carrot juice and mandarin. Very carroty. Not my favourite, but I've never been very fond of carrot juice. It was such a great time as we ate good food and the pastor drilled us with questions and hopes and how do I's, how do we's? It is such an amazing feeling to have someone pulling like that on all that is inside of you. You know, like when someone asks you about how to be a good mom or how to make a particular dish that you've made or how to improve their communication with their spouse? One of those questions that you know you can answer well and in a way you realize you've been waiting for someone to ask. The kids got a little bored when they couldn't get a word in edge wise. Bailey and Ben kept trying. I'm realizing more and more Bailey's need to influence as she would try to interject in our conversations in whatever way she could, either to add to what Daddy said about he would approach discipline or remind us of a time or story where she recalled our conversation being relevant. Caleb was content to sit and eat and hug me once in a while or lay on my shoulder when lunch was over and they just waited for us to finish talking.

Arsenio wanted to know if we needed to go anywhere. He wanted to help us in any way he could. So I asked if he could take me somewhere to buy Gatorade. Both the boys have had the runs and I wanted to keep their electrolytes up. He suggested a place called Price Smart. He said it was just like Costco. And it totally was! It was like walking into a Costco at home only the prices looked way higher because they are priced in cordoba (20 cords to 1 USD). Caleb was all freaked out by it. He said "they've got the same signs as Costco and it even smells like Costco. It was such a treat to go there. We were happy to find some of our "american favourites" like hot dogs, kraft dinner, cheese strings, chewy granola bars and chocolate chips for making cookies. If I was shopping for myself I would have probably picked up more, but pastor Arsenio wanted to buy our groceries and we were so humbled by his generosity. After our shop they wanted to stop at a coffee shop to pick our brains a little longer and there they bought us all a drink. They had an english menu and some familiar drinks. Graeme had a hot pumpkin pie latte and I had a frosty one. They were yummy and Graeme's came with a cute little monkey face in the foam.

We squeezed back into the car and Arsenio and Bathsheba took us home. We got home around 4 and the kids had a hard time settling back into home schooling. It's 8pm, we took a break for dinner and so far Caleb has still not finished his first subject. Ben called for me to come and help him with his math just as I spilled my glass of juice. I told him to hold on and then forgot about him for about 15 minutes. When I finally got to him, I found him sprawled on his top bunk and fast asleep. The bathroom visits today really took a lot of him. Please keep all of us and our health in your prayers. My host, Laida, told me today that it is pretty normal for most americans to get sick like this about a week after they get to Nicaragua. Fever, puking, diarrhea, the whole shabang apparently are normal, relieved to hear it, but truly wish it wasn't the case. I'm especially thankful that I am not battling it myself so that I have the strength to be there for the kids and for Graeme who seems tonight to be counting it all joy to encounter such bathroom trials.

Bailey and Caleb are faithfully and with good attitude continuing with their work tonight, giving me time to blog and Graeme time to work. Bailey has been motivated tonight because she's figured out how to climb the tree in the backyard and found the coolest place to sit and read. It's too dark to read, but she wants to climb it with a flashlight anyway.

We are excited about meeting with Arsenio again on Wednesday. He wants to show us around his church and his city. He is hoping to convince us to move into a house he has available in his city. He would make sure we have internet and give it to us free of rent. He's been trying really hard to talk us into coming and we are confident that the Lord wants us to be there in Dariamba for at least a portion of our time here. We are praying about the timing, but we know God has something for us to do here in Pastor Ricardo's home and in his church too so we want to be Spirit lead. We don't just want to just do a good thing, we want to do a God thing. Our time is limited and precious. Unless God wants us to stay longer.

Graeme did not get to preach at church yesterday morning as we had first hoped. He was bumped for another Canadian guy who was in town for only a few days. They knew Graeme would be in town for a while so he gracefully bowed out and gave this other guy an opportunity to speak. The night before, while I was praying and seeking the Lord for our time here, he put 1 Corinthians 2:4 on my heart. It is a passage where Paul speaks of the fact that when he first came to the Corinthians, he did not come with words of persuasion, but the Holy Spirit and demonstrations of power. I shared this with Graeme and he was considering how it might fit into his message either in the morning service or at the revival street meetings in the evening. With no opportunity in the morning he knew even more that he had to open the door at the evening service for the Spirit to move in power. He opened his Bible to speak and realized at that moment before the congregation that his notes were not in his Bible. He was totally freaked out and remembered the scripture I had shared with him. He knew that it was no coincidence that he forgot his notes. So he just took the time to call on and wait for the Holy Spirit, he started to activate people who were in attendance that had just been at the conference we did and the pastors sons who had accompanied him to the meeting. The Spirit came in power and many people were healed. A woman with one side of her face completely swollen was completely healed. Another woman with pain so bad in her knees that it was difficult to stand, stood up, walked a few steps and lit up as she realized her pain was gone. The pastor's son, who was also praying for her, lit up as much as she did when he realized that this was for real and his prayers made a difference. As healings took place, more people felt the confidence to go out and start praying for the people in the street who were curiously looking into the meeting tent. Our friend Rosario was there and gave powerful testimonies and encouragement in spanish. Graeme said it was an amazing time. I was sad that I missed it, but also thankful for a good night for the kids and I.

The kids and I had spent the afternoon and evening at the Villa de Esperanza. Graeme was there at the beginning to help celebrate two of the Villa girl's birthdays. I was so thankful to arrive at the right time so that Ben got a chance to swing at the pinata and all the kids got to have some cake and watch the birthday girls "kiss" the cake(a Nicaraguan tradition). It was a lot of fun, totally light hearted. They were kind of tired of meetings and church after the week we had and were miserable at church in the morning. The music, dancing and laughter of the party was just what they needed.

After the party, Graeme left for the street meeting and we stayed (partly to be close to el bano) at the Villa to meet one last time with the Bethel team before they left for California. It was an awesome time of testimony and prayer and Bailey really had opportunity to connect with some of the older girls at the Villa. In case you haven't read elsewhere yet. The Villa is a ministry that rescues young girls from their life of poverty and violence and desperation at the local dump. They give them a hope and a future by introducing them to a life in Christ and giving them a home. They host Christians teams and visitors to increase revenue to the ministry. We had been there several times, but this was the first night that Bailey really connected with the girls. They asked us when we were leaving if we would be back to visit even though the Bethel team was leaving. We assured them we would and they were said they were happy because they liked playing with Bailey. That made her feel really good. God is so faithful. He knows exactly what we need and at just the right time. It was a tough day and Bailey needed to know that there was someone in this place besides her family that cared she was here in Nica. She told us yesterday that when she grows up that she would like to come back to Nica on her own and volunteer at the Villa for a while. I totally believe she will do it too and she'll be amazing and totally rock some little girls and make them feel the love. That's what she was born for.

Well, once again. We've got a long one. Cuz God is just that awesome and I can't stop talking about it. I love my Daddy and He loves me. This is our first day without the team and I can see that God has given us total favour and influence. I am confident of this one thing for our time in Nica ........ It's gonna be sooooooo good!

Blessings.

Conference Week

2010-01-15T20:15:00.003-10:00

Monday evening was the start of the madness. It was a crazy week of early mornings and late nights. There were 3 sessions a day at the conference and every session started with about an hour of worship. The people here are so full of expression and life and so is their worship. Jumping, dancing, shouting, conga lines and dance circles, belly bumping, people tossing ... yes, belly bumping and people tossing! It was like ... I don't even know what to compare it too. Total joy and craziness, fun and laughter, passion! Amazing. They sang many songs that we knew, only in spanish and they love some of the old Jewish songs that I hadn't heard in years which were really fun to dance to. By the third day and an average of 3 hours of energetic worship every day my body and my spirit were tired and my heart tried to offer the sacrifice of praise but at times I was so tired and thankful that my kids "needed" my attention ... not really, but Jesus knew my heart ;)

The teaching was awesome and getting to know the team was great, but my greatest joy was getting to know the pastors. Thanks to everyone who prayed for supernatural spanish for us. I could not believe this week and how often the words or the understanding was there when it needed to be. Graeme has such a great ear and understands a lot so between us we catch a fair bit and with the little bit of english that the pastors had we were truly able to build relationship in just a week. There were several Guatemalan pastors, 3 in particular that won my heart ... ooooh ... to put into written words is so hard. My heart is so full for these men. I think Graeme and I both fell in love with them. They have such gentle spirits, so tenderhearted and full of love. I feel so privileged to have met them. But honestly there are so many like them here. The people are so amazing.

I have so much more to say about the words that were given, the paintings that Bailey, Graeme, Ben and I did in prophetic art, the connections that we made and how amazing it was to see so many pastors get their first taste of the supernatural lifestyle and leave asking "How do we get more?" ... "How do we teach our children to prophecy like yours?" ... "Could we have a school of ministry in Central America?" ... they are so hungry, desperate for more. They asked for counsel on how to empower a prophet in their church and wanted to understand how children could do so much in the power of the Holy Spirit. I am so moved now as I consider this. I have never seen such hunger, such passion in the pursuit of more. There are many pastors who have invited us to come to their churches and speak while we are here and 1 who will serve us in any way possible because he wants relationship with us. He wants to catch what we have.

Once again I am overwhelmed. I am so thankful that the Lord chose us, but feelings of inadequacy flood my heart and my mind. It doesn't leave me sad though! Even as I write through tears I am filled with a joyful confidence and hope for what God will do through me and through Graeme and our kids while we are here. Their hunger does all the work. It pulls on heaven and then heaven will show up on anyone willing to be His hands of feet. It was one Nicaraguan girl who went to Bethel and asked them to bring their culture to Nica in the form of a mini school ... only a one week conference! But I believe this moment is pivotal and is a foundation for a great work that is beginning in Central America. One girl, Ixil, with passion and hunger brought pastors from 5 nations to hear that God is good and he is moving in power today! And they left with a deeper hunger and passion that will change their churches, their cities, their countries and an entire continent for eternity! This is more than hope that I feel in this moment for this continent. It is surety. A hundred and fifty powerful men are going home to their churches of hundreds to thousands and telling them that God is good and his Holy Spirit is moving in power. This is a total paradigm shift for much of the body of Christ, but especially here. Managua has been called, in prophecy, the epicentre of a new move of God and I believe this was a historic moment. I am so thankful for Ixil and her vision and that God wanted us to be a part of it.

I am also thankful for naps. We got home at about 3 this afternoon and all of us went to bed for a nap. The kids argued a bit, but as soon as their heads hit the pillow, they were gone. It has been a stretch for all of us and the kids did great.

On that note, my nap wasn't very worthwhile if I stay up the whole night. So I should close this one for now. It's already 12:35am local time and "Peluche" the family puppy, starts barking at 6am sometimes :P

Love and Blessings :)

Our first days exploring Nica

2010-01-15T18:20:00.000-10:00

My life is so full of things to say and share. Part of me wishes that I had time and opportunity to blog everyday, but with a week like we have had that was absolutely impossible. Man, where to start? So much has happened in such a short time.

I last blogged on Saturday, we spent some time at home recovering from travel and went to church on Sunday morning. It was a great service, worship was cool, but entirely in spanish. The sermon was good and they had translation through earphones which was cool. We arrived at the service a little late. Seats were few even though they just moved as a church to a larger building. They have at least 1,200 people attending. 600 at each service and it is really not a very big room. There was an usher that found us some seats and we soon found out created the atmosphere for a divine appointment. I was sat beside the principle of the american school which is only a block and a half away from where we are living. She shared with me about some of the different programs that the kids can take part in along with other missionary families in Managua. They also have spanish classes for adults and she was recommending a student from her school as a spanish tutor for the kids. I was so excited to hear of all the options. Ben may get to join the soccer team and there is youth group every second Friday for Bailey and Caleb. I was so thankful for this meeting.

At church we met up with some of the team from Bethel so we joined them after the service to have lunch where they were staying. They were staying at this place called Villa de Esperanza (city of hope). It is a beautiful base built by Christians from the states in partnership with some Nicaraguan Christians. Their ministry is to the people that lives at the dump in Managua. There is a whole community that survives solely on what they can salvage from the dump, food, clothing, stuff to sell. I really don't know very much about the lifestyle, only that is is very dark and hopeless. There are many unwanted and abused children and obviously great poverty as is the case all over Nicaragua. There is a church and school right at the dump to try to minister to and educate the community. Villa de Esperanza and their partnering organizations (Forward Edge for one) take applications from families at the dump to give their daughters a better life. Many of the girls who are chosen are in abusive situations and their mothers want to find a safe place for them. The girls are given a home that they share with 7 other girls and a house mother and house helper. They have many chores and get fed well and a good education including an education in the Spirit, to know who they are in Christ, princesses. The Nicaraguan couple that manages the base is so great. Full of love and encouragement for the girls. The base is also used to house visitors, this brings in revenue. This is mainly why the Bethel team was staying there, but took advantage of an awesome opportunity to bless the girls and pray for them. A young american girl named Natalie is living in the same house as us and she is volunteering at Villa de Esperanza for several months. I'm hoping that during our time here in Nica we will have more opportunity to partner with this ministry.

While researching Nicaragua before we came. I happened upon a blog that an american woman was writing about her time in Nica. Her writing was helpful in knowing what to expect. I read her blog a couple of times before we travelled. While at Villa de Esperanza on Sunday, we were given a tour by an american woman, Susie, who seemed very familiar. I couldn't place her, but felt I had seen her before. Upon further investigation I found that it was her blog I had been reading on the internet. I couldn't believe it! What a small world. What a "God is working behind the scenes to complete his purposes through seeming coincidence" world! Haha I have always liked the saying "A coincidence is when God does a miracle and remains anonymous." Sure, meeting Susie doesn't seem so much like a "miracle" but God ordered certainly.

Sunday afternoon was such a blessing. The team at the Villa took those of us from Bethel who had arrived already as well as many pastors from Guatemala who were also staying at the Villa for the conference for a little tour of Granada. It is a town ... city? ... I don't know for sure ... about an hour away. It was a tight squeeze into a little bus. They are so efficient here in ride sharing ... lol. They will put people anywhere there is space to fit them and the only seat belt laws are for those in the front seats.

...... Side note, we got a ride from 3 Guatemalan pastors to the conference the last couple days and the first day, the eldest one (so sweet, such a tender heart, not a lick of english, but he still tried to talk to me all the time and then just laugh after when I couldn't understand :) He opened the hatch back on the jeep cherokee style vehicle and climbed into the trunk to make space for us and our kids in the seats in the front. We were so humbled, so much so that we couldn't let him. It took a while to convince him to let the kids sit in the hatch/trunk. Wow, so much honour ... so so humbling. 25 years our senior and climbing into the trunk to make us comfortable. Teach me this honour, Jesus....

... back to our tour of Granada ... We drove for about an hour, totally fixated on the views of the country side and taken back by the poverty and culture at times. You can drive by a shack and half way down the block there are middle class houses and then more shacks ... then an enormous and elaborate mall. It's crazy. We got to Granada and they took us to a place set on Lake Nicaragua. It is a dirty lake that no one will swim in, inhabited by sharks. We all got into tour boats and set off to explore the hundreds of little islands on the lake. There are beautiful homes built on the islands, some are uninhabited and others have monkeys that like to jump into the tour boats to sample whatever the guide brought them for a snack. They cautioned us not to grab them or touch them, just to let the monkeys come to us. One of the girls had a comical moment when one of the monkeys decided to pat her on the head for a while. One of the Guatemalan pastors had a not so comical moment when he thought it would be funny to grab one of their tales. The monkey took a moment to turn around and when she did and saw who had touched her she flipped out. Running back to him, she scratched at him until the guide stepped in between the monkey and the pastor. The monkey was not angry at anyone but him and she was screaming and trying to grab at him around the guides body. We were in another boat watching this so our guide pulled up close enough for the pastor to jump into our boat and get away from the enraged female. It was very dramatic, very exciting, very enlightening. I don't think I will ever pull a monkey's tale. She calmed down after a couple minutes and jumped back onto her island and the pastor returned to his boat. We loved it. One of those funny memories you will never forget. Sounds like a funny children's book in the making.

We got lots of fun pictures of the islands and the beautiful buildings. The kids wanted to ride in the skinny horse drawn carriages, but we only stopped in the city square for a short time. We explored the city square and the beautiful cathedral and them sampled some local ice cream. We tried theses frozen dolce de leche bars which are basically an ice cream flavoured with caramelized sweetened condensed milk. Yummy and only 5 cordoba or .25 cents each. The kids enjoyed a second one at the Managua market on Monday as well as a little girl standing nearby when we bought them from the vender. She walked up as I was paying and said "para me?" .. for me? So I bought her one too. We walked away and noticed from a distance that she had a sister and she was not going to share. Our friends were sad for the sister and gave her a 5 cord coin to buy one, but her sister would not let her spend the money ... the vender had left at this point and we couldn't recover the situation, but we are learning how to deal with it.

I will end this entry here because I have so much more to say and I am afraid if I go on too long, that some of you will be intimidated by the time it could take to read it. If you have time, just go ahead to my next entry :)

To be continued.....

Blessings

2010-01-13T10:48:00.000-10:00

We're Here!

2010-01-09T07:31:00.000-10:00

This has the potential to be a really long blog because there is so much going on in my heart right now. Such a mix of emotion, excitement, insecurity. I have never realized being beyond my comfort zone more than this moment. It was about 30 minutes before the plane landed that I truly saw it ... Wow, I may be "trapped" here for 3 months. Like, what if we hate it? What if it is a terrible time and we want to leave, but we can't afford to change our tickets? I had thought many times of the possibility of changing our tickets if Holy Spirit lead us to stay longer, but never the possibility of leaving early. It was at that moment that I understood. We obeyed the call and we are in a completely vulnerable position and our lives are truly left in the hands of God. Wow, to be in such a place makes me realize how safe I have played the game my whole life! Sure, I have stepped out in a moment with the risk of being rejected or given money generously with faith that the father will provide, but last night I stood before an immigration officer and she asked me for $25 for our visitor's visa. I didn't have enough cash on me so she had to break protocol and walk me to a money machine on the other side of the airport to draw money off my credit card. I was so nervous. We set up our credit card with a pin number just before we left Canada, but I hadn't tried it yet ... What if it didn't work? ... What if I couldn't get the money? ... Who would we call? ... Would we have to ask our host family to spot us money the moment we meet them? Then when I got to the machine ... Guess what? ... Yep, it was all in spanish so the first time I tried I pressed some wrong buttons and it would not give me money! Ahhh, okay, let's try this again. I saw something at the bottom of the screen that looked like "credito" ... uh huh! That must be it. I tried it and it worked! Yay, God and thanks Jamie for going through drawing money in Redding with the spanish screen. Just done in fun, but it totally prepped me for this moment.

We went through and found all 11 of our bags within minutes. We even got to check our larger carry on bags for free because the plane was full and they wanted less luggage in the cabin. Thank you Jesus! Then we were walking out into the rest of the airport, wondering how hard it would be to find the 2 other people who were also arriving. We looked into a sea of Nicaraguan faces ... none white, but that was not really a surprise. Our contacts weren't supposed to arrive for 30 minutes. We expected to wait, but that was very intimidating because the waiting area was not that big and there were many people asking .. Taxi? Suddenly this Nicaraguan looking guy walked up to Graeme, pointed at him and said "The Morris family?" We were surprised that someone was looking for us. His name ... Nathan Hernandez, youngest son to our host family. He was told to look for a family with 3 kids, husband and wife and I guess we caught his eye ... lol. That happens a lot with Graeme :)

Suddenly I felt a lot more peace. He told us that our friends from Redding were delayed and that he had a bus outside waiting for us and all our luggage. It was awesome. The driver, Nathan and Graeme started loading our bags in and just as they had about 2 bags left a couple of guys came along to "help". I wasn't sure who they were or what they were doing, but after they helped the one guy walked up to me and said a couple words in spanish that I did not understand ... something like "tibs". Nathan seemed to walk right by them and invited me on to the bus. As we drove away I realized that they were asking for a tip! lol

It was quite a drive from the airport to Pastor Ricardo's home. They live outside of the city. The streets weren't too crazy. The bus driver used his horn a lot to tell other drivers heading into an intersection that he was not planning to stop for them and they seemed to politely oblige. If they attempted to pull out anyway, he turned his brights on too and they got the picture and stayed out of his way. Drivers weaved in and out of lanes without signalling, but not at extremely high speeds.

We pulled into a very bumpy driveway, surrounded by high walls, chain link fences and palm trees. Ricardo and Laida met us at the front door when we arrived. They are a lovely couple, all smiles, short compared to us, but who's not here? They were relatively quiet, but that could just be the language barrier. They spoke to us briefly about things we needed to know, but used their children to translate for them. Their kid's english is excellente! Their daughter, Judith, barely has an accent when she speaks it. We put all our suitcases in the 2 bedrooms that were set up for us. We also have 2 bathrooms! another Yay God :) They did some work on the second one to make sure we had it when we got here. Judith told me that they replaced the toilet and we had to wait a day to use it. We had some tea without milk. Graeme had some of the Yorkshire tea that Diane gave him before we left Redding. The kids watched "Bones" in the kitchen. The Hernandez kids were watching it in English with spanish subtitles. When the show was done we all went to bed. It was 12:30 local time. We left Redding at 2am and had slept on and off in the plane so none of us were really tired, or maybe we were, but our brains were going a mile a minute. Eventually we all faded only to be woken many times through the night by the curtains waving in the wind, the crickets that sort of chirped but not steadily or the different birds that started to sound as soon as the sun started to come up. I laid in bed still until about 9:30 local time (still only 7:30 in BC or CA), but Graeme wanted me to get up because Laida and Judith were making us breakfast.

I had to get right on all the vitamins (probiotics, papaya enzymes and pepto pills) to try to safe guard our tummies while we're here and then make sure that the kids use the purified water to brush their teeth. Breakfast was nice. Banana pancakes and orange juice. Bailey tried some green apple yogurt. None of us were very hungry. I think our bodies are just out of sync from all the travelling. So breakfast was short which made Ben happy because he was eager to go outside and meet the new puppy and discover the property. We went for a little walk down the long driveway. There are lots of dogs, big ones, small ones, but they are behind tall fences. Lots of pretty flowers, coconut trees and lime trees. I think we'll stay close to "home" for now. Caleb laid down after breakfast for a long nap and Ben and Bailey keep asking about the beach, but we are about 45 minutes from the beach and have no car so we hope we can work that out in the near future.

So far, the one thing that is intimidating me the most is the language barrier. Laida will say something to me through her daughter and I reply, but there is always this sense (I think I can see it in her too) that there is more to say. Please pray for divine intervention in learning spanish.

Will write again soon.

Blessings,

Chris

Here are a couple of links to more photos I have posted on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=145485&id=560551503&l=70d624abd7

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=145401&id=560551503&l=c6c40e4e10

Didn't realize how thirsty

2010-01-04T19:37:00.000-10:00

2222 - the numbers that kept showing up on my clock, signs on the road, the license plate in front of me, the price on the item that I happened to look at. About a week ago I was getting inundated with 2s so I took some time to research the meaning of 2s and through some study I found a scripture in Revelation that says "I have put before you a door that no one can shut." I felt that the Lord was telling me that we were right in obeying the call to prepare for Nicaragua and that no man would hinder what the Holy Spirit was calling us to do. It gave me peace and helped me to encouraged Graeme each time he started to worry about our date with Homeland Security at the US border.

This is definitely a testimony of God's favour because this was such a smooth time at the border. They did call us inside to answer some questions, but they only asked 2 and kept us for about 15 minutes and then they handed us our passports, thanked us and sent us on our way. For hours, Graeme, Jamie and I pondered the many questions that the border guards never bothered to ask us. We couldn't believe their lack of concern after all we had been through at the border in years passed. We are so thankful for a testimony that will set the standard for our faith in future border crossing moments.

We arrived in Redding after 1am and we all got up early to get to church in the morning. The kids were so excited to get to see their friends and we felt so privileged to wade once again in refreshing waters. It was an awesome worship service and we were excited to hear Heidi Baker speak. Her passion to release tenacious love was completely inspiring and a pointed reminder of what our purpose is in Nicaragua and in Christ. We were even more blessed to return to the evening service and hear her again. I love her heart. Lining up for a fire tunnel at the end of the night was the icing on the cake. The presence of the Holy Spirit fell so strongly on me, true to His word to come whenever we call, He showed up in such a powerful way that I could not stay on my feet. I kept standing up and the weight of His presence kept pulling me down, the sweetest weight I could ever feel. It was beautiful. I was so thankful for this encounter. Ohhhhh, how I have missed the presence like this. It's not that I couldn't have had it at home in Kelowna, just that I had forgotten how good it was. I forgot to contend for it. I forgot to set everything aside and wait because the reward of His presence would be so overwhelming that nothing else that I gave my time to would have felt missed.

How can I make myself remember? How do I remember to not forget? What will be the string on my finger? It's like intimacy with my husband. How often does it feel like I don't have time ... I'm too tired ... I've got too much on my mind and then some days I just manage to go there with my heart and my mind and I am so glad that I did. Our relationship feels refreshed, our connection feels strong. It felt worthwhile no matter how hard it was to get there. That's what the presence is like. When you get in that place when you can feel that intimate connection with the Holy Spirit you just feel like ... "wow. I forgot how good it was to meet with you. wow ... Lord, I missed you." And I know he was always there, just like Graeme is always there next to me, but it's amazing how close you can be positionally and even how well you can know someone yet be completely disconnected. Oh, Lord. Don't let me forget again.

I've got to be being filled. I can't settle for last weeks anointing just like Graeme can't settle for last weeks kiss. It's not just about me needing connection, it's about giving the Father His glory due and His glory is displayed in us moving in tune with the spirit. The Lord goes before us to prepare a place, but even more my heart cries out, Lord be there with me. Let your presence be my bread, I don't want to let a single day rest without it.

May your encounters be many and your hunger deep.

Blessings.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T10:08:00.000-10:00

Jan.1, 2010

Here it is! The moment I have been waiting for, not consciously mind you, but I can feel it in my spirit that today is the first day of the rest of my life. Yes, yesterday was too, but there is something about today that feels different. I thought it was quite significant that Graeme and I were finally finished cleaning the house on the farm just minutes before midnight. It felt right that we drive away from a darkened house just moment before the New Year. 2009 was a season of transition and whatever it is that God has in store for me and my extended family, the world for that matter, it starts today.

My heart is filled with anticipation and expectation. These were not so much the emotions that filled my heart last night as I left a blanket on the floor for the cat to sleep on until his new "masters" would move in and learn to become his family or as I took one last picture of an empty house and paused to remember the probably thousands of faces that have been entertained by Francis/Morris hospitality in that house. I had to ask Graeme and Jamie to work at the wall with all the kids names and heights marked on it for the last 10 or so years. So much history, lots of great memories. It gives me a keen understanding of the Israelites wanting to return to Egypt, wanting to give up and turn back because the unknown just seems too scary. It's really easy to forget the rough times when you are faced with fear of what the future might hold. Human nature is really funny, how we can choose to fear the worst for the future at the same time as remembering the best of the past. I think we are best poised when we anticipate a hopeful and future while having gleened everything we need from our past experiences - learning lessons from the rough times and remebering the good.

We will be driving across the border tomorrow, hopefully in the morning. Please pray for favour at the border and for safety on the roads. Still lots more to do today, sorting through suitcases that are too heavy and dropping a few more boxes off at Graeme's cousin's house for storage. Happy Happy New Year to all of you. May your hearts be filled with hope and expectation for a year of building, increase and establishment.

Blessings :)

Packing .. yet again .. yuck!

2009-12-30T07:50:00.000-10:00

Well, we are in the thick of things. We have to be out of our house by midnight tomorrow so the new renters can move in on the first of January. Oh my goodness, boxes everywhere, a room full of give aways, a room full of "store this", a garage full of "move to the barn" and "take to the dump". My feet and back hurt and I am sooooo tired. I worked really hard yesterday, but truly moped around a lot feeling stressed by all that needs to happen in such a short space of time. Honestly, I'm feeling a little irresponsible and disappointed in myself too. Once again I am feeling the consequences of procrastination. And if that isn't stressful enough, Ben is only now feeling the weight of the fact that we are leaving again. I'm frustrated with the fact that I am so busy and there is so little time to just be there for him and make him feel safe. Pray for me that God will give me peace and that I will have the wisdom to know how to transfer that to my kids. Grandma is coming over today to visit while we pack. I'm hoping she can play some games with the kids and they can just enjoy her. I think that will give them some peace. I know the pace we are keeping the last few days is enough to stress out the most laid back.

We were encouraged yesterday with some conversations with Ben George. He's leading the initial team to Managua for the conference that we are helping with. We were supposed to pay a fair sum of money in order to stay at the resort, but it turns out that the resort is overbooked due to the overwhelming attendance of locals to this conference, so the team is having to be put up at the Pastor's home where Graeme and I have already arranged to stay. This means that we have our sleeping arrangements covered for the conference with our agreement with this pastor. The only thing we need to pay for now is gas for the outreaches and food. Yay God!

This pastor is Ricardo Hernandez. He has offered to rent our family 2 rooms and the full use of his home and laundry facilities including utilities and internet for $700/mo. We will only have to buy and prepare our own food and probably figure out a local cell phone or something. God has been so faithful in our preparations. Living in 2 rooms with another family is not what we would have normally chosen, but our heart is to influence and impact and what better way than to live with the pastor of an influential church in Nica. The church is called Verbo. There is lots on the web about them if you want to google them.

This update will have to be short and sweet. I have to get back to packing and cleaning.

Here are a few details and prayer points:

- Peace in our house and efficiency so we can be out of our house on time and leave it in great shape for new renters.

- For the kids hearts, that they would not be afraid of this move, but look forward to it. That this journey would be an adventure not a drudgery.

- For our road trip to California, we leave on January 2nd, for safety, clear roads, favour at the border, fuel economy :)

- For our flights, on January 8th out of SanFran at 8:30am - leg room please Jesus :) No problems with checking in all of our baggage!

Trying to get pumped about going, but my mind is in other places.

Blessings.

A little Christmas info with pics.

2009-12-27T00:23:00.000-10:00

Our Christmas picture this year. Christmas in Kelowna with friends and family. Great times. It's only a week til we head out to Nicaragua. There is going to be a lot of work this week, but we are excited and things are coming together. God's provision has been miraculous and the generosity of friends and family a true blessing.
Caleb had fun this Christmas, time spent hanging out with his cousin Eric, playing some of his new video games and reluctantly taking many spare moments to work with his sister on spanish. He and Bailey are doing so well at memorizing vocabulary.
The older two, with one of Bailey's BFFs, Sarah, had fun at New Life youth group this year. They went to a formal Christmas party as the last youth night before Christmas and were disappointed to find that there would be no more youth before we left for Nica.
Bailey was thrilled with some fun clothes that are warm weather appropriate for Christmas. She says she wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up. I'm thinking I should invest in a small sewing machine one of these days so she can figure out if this is really what she wants to do. She's a little nervous these days about making new friends in Nica, but still a little excited for the trip. She is looking forward to visiting friends in Redding on the way, but sad about having to say goodbye to the cat and friends and family in Kelowna.
Ben has discovered his love of rhythm this year. Some friends gave us a set of drums and he found himself drumming on almost everything but! He would play them at times, but he's so social that he didn't want to be in his room alone to play them. He got these portable electric drum sticks. He can go anywhere in the house and listen to his music and his drumming through ear phones or share the rhythm with us on occasion through the computer. He's also feeling a little anxious about making friends, but still a little excited for the trip. I think they will be happy when we are settled in there. He has no problems making friends. I don't think even a language barrier will hinder his friendliness.

Getting Ready to Move

2009-12-26T23:31:00.000-10:00

Looking forward to tomorrow morning. I was hoping to be prayed for and sort of sent out by the church we are attending right now as we prepare for our trip to Nicaragua in a week, but we really don't know many people who are leaders in the church and didn't see it happening, but God knows my heart and my desire to be covered and connect so last Sunday when I was speaking with a friend, Wendy, after church, her friend from the missions department stopped to talk to her. Wendy introduced us and then without a moment of hesitation or even knowing my heart, asked this lady if they could do something about praying for us or sending us out. As a result I got connected and the church will call us up tomorrow to pray for us. I'm so thankful for the prayer covering and for the way that God takes care of my heart.

I'm a little stressed by all that has to happen in the next week, but all it's really only a lot of hard work. It won't kill us, just make us stronger :) We have to get rid of some stuff, pack some for storage and move some to friend's and family's homes. I love how some things that you keep forever have just naturally started to run out or quit on us. Like running out of the enormous box of dishwasher detergent and using up all the food in the pantry and the freezer, oversized electronics like tvs and monitors dying or huge bottles of body wash being used up. Just makes it feel like ... "yep, it's time to move on and do so with less stuff once again." Little things like that actually give me a lot of joy, getting rid of dead weight I mean. Like I tossed a broken food chopper and hand blender last month, I forgot a platter at a friends and decided to leave it there and I keep finding things to pawn off or give away. Some things will be harder. Like our lovely cat, Sam, that we have inherited. He is such a friendly and cuddly cat that gives all of us so much joy. I never thought I could like a cat this much. And then there is the kitchen aide :( But for everything I have to give up God is on the other side making a way, providing for our every need. When I was Christmas shopping last week, I kept finding things on sale that I had forgotten I was going to buy for our trip like a portable water filter and a more practical purse for travelling and carrying things like travellers cheques or passports. I was so blessed to find them along the way and for a good price.

We were so blessed the past month with financial gifts and encouragement. Between the gifts and some generous compensation for a little work that I did, Graeme and I have been given exactly what it cost us to book our plane tickets. Just another confirmation that we are headed in the right direction. I kept seeing 222 and 2222 the other day and upon some research found the scripture in Isaiah that reminded me that when God opens a door, when he places a call on your life and you choose to obey, no one can close that door to you. We are so confident of God's call on us to go to Nicaragua in this season and He is faithful to hold the doors open to us. I know that we will not be ashamed for following His voice because He is going to make this so good! It also gives me peace in our considerations and discussions about crossing into the USA again. We have had so many problems there in the past, but this time I know that the Father has opened a door and that this time no man will close it to us.

At times I am feeling a little inadequate for the job, in Nica I mean. I need to spend some more time with Jesus to remember who He is and what He's placed in me. I have been so busy and preoccupied and life just does such a good job of making you feel totally human and insufficient. Getting in touch with His grace is just what I need, it's sufficient and will make me so.

I am so thankful for the time that I have had at home in Canada. I loved my time in Redding. It was such a stretching and growing time. I learned a lot about my Father and myself, but it was a very busy time. I left feeling like I want to save the world and started to realize when no one else was there to encourage my children that they were feeling a little left out. Our time in Canada has been an awesome time of learning what message I bring and how that fits with meeting my kids needs and raising them up. I forgot how much I enjoy just being a mom and a friend to moms. I still want to teach and impact a nation, but God has been teaching me how to change the world one conversation at a time. He's asked me time and again. "Would you do it for the one?" I used to think that the only way I would change the world is to preach to thousands, but I love the fact that every time my realization of the Father's heart changes someone's heart for someone else or affects the way they relate to the Father that I am changing the world. Impacting one person for eternity can change the course of history. Ben and I studied the woman at the well this fall in his Bible study. Jesus had one conversation with a woman and she went home and told her city of Jesus and how He prophesied over her. Many came to hear His words and believed. One conversation can reverberate through hundreds or even just stick in the heart of one who will come to a place of influence and change a school, a church or a nation. Wow!! We forget the power of the tongue and prayer and the Holy Spirit at work in us.

Once again, it's very late and I have to be up early. I love this blogging thing. It gives me a chance to see what's in my heart as I put my thoughts to words. Merry Boxing week and Happy New Year if I don't blog before.

What fills my heart and hence will likely fill this blog over time.

2009-12-15T22:16:00.000-10:00

I'm catching myself all the time. Worried about money, circumstances that aren't working out, scared I made a wrong choice, missed God's voice, leaving myself out on a limb outside of God's grace and mercy where the favour of God can no longer bless my life. Maybe I've made choices that drew my life out of the hand of God, just beyond His reach and now I will be at the mercy of sewing and reaping, natural consequences ........ Than Holy Spirit gives my head a shake ... and reminds me .... "Didn't you ask me to keep you in the center of my will?" ...... "Didn't you surrender to my plan for your life?" ...... "Don't you remember my words?" .... "I will never leave you or forsake you." .... "Those who trust in me will never be put to shame." ..... "God judges the heart." .... "Perfect love will cast out all your fear and I am here now to confirm that perfect love to you." I could never fall from His grace because the cross was all sufficient. It covers a multitude of sins? how about ignorance, blatant disregard? His blood paid for it all and now all the decisions made for my life are made by the father looking at me through rose coloured glasses. Stained by the blood. It's like I can do no wrong and the father wants nothing more than to lead me and guide me in peace and righteousness upheld by His grace and mercy that will never run out.

That constant struggle between a pauper and prince mentality. I am not a poor man begging for bread or mercy. I am an heir to the kingdom, a child of God, I wear his signet ring (the Holy Spirit) and that means I have great authority. I have spent the last couple years sitting under the ministry of Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton in Redding, California hearing sermon after sermon, teaching after teaching on my identity in Christ. The fact that I am Jesus glorious inheritance. That I am seated at the right hand of the father and I have my Daddy's ear. I am chosen and loved by the creator of the universe ... and still I fear. Wow, this is a big lesson and I fear it may take my whole life and beyond to truly grasp how great the father's love for us, vast beyond all measure, to know and understand what my identity entitles me to and I have allowed the enemy to steal from me like taking candy from a baby.

I was pondering this last week, while signing Christmas cards, what it would look like to truly survey the fullness of God's love in our lives. I am reminded of an old Amy Grant song called "Angels watching over me" and how it talked about a reckless car that ran out of gas before it ran my way. I'm reminded too of pulling up to a restaurant and sitting in my car feeling really cold and asking God for a parking spot close to the door so I don't have to walk too far and before I have a chance to finish the thought/prayer someone is pulling out of the spot in front of me. Little ideas of the fullness of His love that follow me everyday. But I know I have not even seen the tip of this iceberg. Psalm 139 says that in the secret place he knew me, he knit me together in my mother's womb, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. This speaks to me of the beginning of time, when Adam was formed out of the dust of the earth. He knew me the day He made Adam and before that when he created the earth itself. It also says in Psalm 139 : all the days ordained for me were written before one of them came to be. What good works have gone on in my life, in my parents lives, in their parents lives that have established my life with such favour? I am so thankful to live in this moment and sit in such a seat of privilege. I pray for each of us ... that in this season ... we might taste and see for a moment, for a month, for the rest of our lives how good our God is and how full is the love that He has so freely poured out on us from the beginning of time.

In light of this love, I must choose each day to think princely thoughts. I don't even always know what that is meant to look like. When I am in fear I need to remind myself of the fulness of His love. I might need to ask Him for a different perspective on my situations because looking for His love and goodness in the midst of the storm isn't always the most natural of responses. Well ... it was for Jesus ... when he slept in the belly of the boat being tossed about by the wind and waves. I think I have many a lesson to learn from this Jesus, Prince of Peace. I want to know Him more.